E. took this picture back in March. There must be a fountain inside the gargoyle's head.

Chronic illness can have an effect on even the strongest relationships...So Alph and I are going through some tough times right now...causing me to be too depressed to write...anyway, thanks for still checking in and I will be back soon I hope....

LOLZ!  im in yur dogidoor, stealin yur flormatz! ... Nah.

Can we find some kind of "Beggars & Thieves" thing?

If this guy had turned on the range, we might've had a winner.

Masters of stealth.

A shot from my last colonoscopy.

Is this just a puddle, because it really looks like a lake!

We were on the swings twice that day. Once on a rubber one, and once on a wooden one that didn't fit your hips. I felt like the bigger person, metaphorically, because you have love handles and man boobs, even though I'm older than you. I felt like an older brother. You were annoying but I was able to look past that and be kind to you. I held my head back and wanted to stop time, wanted to look at the bright blue sky with angry looking clouds with the red paint cracking on the metal bar with that feeling of goodness and peace. I was peaceful and that doesn't happen much. Not much at all. I wish I had usb port in my head so I could download that picture and post it all of the internets. I'd be a god, or I'd just be famous, or both. Someway or my chum texted me. It felt good you remembered me. I asked you if you wanted to hang out with my chum even though you didn't know her. You didn't say much and I knew you didn't want to but there wasn't anything else we could do in a park. We went to her house and she was sleepy. Something about levititing occurred. I don't know what that means but it gets the people going. We ended up going to a cheap store where I was unsure of buying sunglasses but I did anyways because regretting shit gets me down. They broke yesterday, I think my nose is too big. Fuck genetics.

I went home for a couple hours and tore off my jeans because I'd regretted putting them on in the morning because it looked cold outside but was really humid. Nobody likes sticky jeans aside from those people who never like to wear clothes that reveal their legs because of a huge birthmark, scar, or patch of hair. I put on shorts that had the number 45 sewn on in metallic silk. Like butter for the eyes. There weren't any pockets and when my other friend texted me I said I'd only come out to play if I could put things in her purse. When I got to the door her mom said she had an extra purse if I needed it and I said no thanks. Because I'm polite like that and I have a murse sitting in my room somewhere. We invited ourselves over to another friend and she changed in front of us. She asked if I was uncomfortable and I said "Its not like it's making me hard or anything" and she said "true". She took a polaroid of my friend looking like a baby. Her cheetah panties were showing, just a little bit. Made her look like a baby looking for love like babies usually look like. So she got dressed and we headed to another persons house to have a bonfire. I sat and listened because when there's more than two people I can't do otherwise. I don't like making myself butt in. I listened for a long time and took another mental picture of the fire and sky and trees and stars and sounds and water and pond and swing and tv glow.

I left because I had to wake up early the next day to eat a huge breakfast. I'd rather eat a huge night snack than a huge breakfast but nobody knows that. I was in sandals and shorts, thats odd. I don't like my calfs or my feet, ew gross, your sick. I walked on every single lawn and did a circle around a fire hydrant because it was red and red means caution. I stopped and there was a cat. I sat on my haunches and held my hand out in acceptance. The cat looked for a while and finally got up and stretched. I wished I could stretch like that. He sniffed my hand and then started rubbing against my arm. I couldn't move for some reason. Maybe I subconsciously knew that the cat would be afraid if I moved, maybe I didn't want to do anything but have things done to me. After a minute I got up and took of my sandals and felt the pavement. I looked back and the cat was looking at me. There was no light on it now and I thought it could be a spirit or a ghost. I turned back and walked. I walked on the grass and my toes got wet. I could barely carry all the things I had in my hands, a key with a tonka truck and new york, and wallet with a fox, glasses that looked like bugs eyes, and brown flip flops. I stopped at the stop sign and I saw a cat. This time it had a weird shadow. I bought jeans despite what my mom said about my dad fainting. I always like the idea of fainting so maybe that's why I got them. When I was trying them on the second time I head a song that I wish I could recall. I drove home with too many windows on and when I turned into my garage I thought I saw a cat but then thought it was my imagination so I drove in and stopped. My heart fell and I imagined a squished cat.

I'm so flattered that she wrote this and I just needed to share it with all of you!  I hope you enjoy it at least half as much as I do.

Thank you, Lavenderbay!!!

The edge is a little messed up because she jumped up trying to get at her cake. It smelled really good! And tasted good too. Yeah, I tried it. It tasted like a peanut butter cake...yum!

Here's my girl anxiously awaiting to dig in to her cake. And in my defense look how stinking cute she is. How can I not buy her a cake...Oh, God...I'm really becoming one of them...sigh.

And of course the frosting on the nose picture...

And the thing that officially reserved me a spot in the dorky pet owner club...I bought her a Swarovski crystal collar that cost me a cool $60!!!!

So, that's how I spent my Saturday afternoon. Yeah, I'm a goober, but I don't really plan to have kids so I spoil my dog. I now officially resign myself from the human race...thank you and good night!

Have you ever tried to do that with your heart  beating normally?? I really want to, but first it should be a nice bear, but of course not Winnie the Pooh.

I think it would be nice as long as you did not do any thing that hurts it.

The Rainforest Site is dedicated to the preservation of rainforests around the world. Your daily click funds the purchase of rainforest land by The Nature Conservancy, The Rainforest Conservation Fund, The World Parks Endowment, and Rainforest2Reef. These organizations work to preserve rainforest land in Ecuador, Mexico, Peru, Paraguay and other locations worldwide.

On average, over 35,500 individuals from around the world visit the site each day to click the green "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button. To date, more than 150 million visitors have preserved more than 40,500 acres of land.

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100% of sponsor advertising fees goes to our charitable partners.

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On average, over 80,000 individuals from around the world visit the site each day to click the "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button. To date, more than 87 million visitors have helped provide more than 1.6 million books to children who need them the most.

Within the U.S., access to books is essential to reading development: the only variable that directly correlates with reading scores is the number of books in the home. However, most recent data describes a profound, even shocking gap: while the ratio of books to children in middle-income neighborhoods is approximately 13 books to 1 child, the ratio in low-income neighborhoods is 1 book to 300 children.* In addition, over 80 percent of childcare centers serving low-income children lack age-appropriate books. Together, The Literacy Site and its domestic partner, First Book, provide children from low-income families in the U.S. with books they can take home and keep.

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On average, over 70,000 individuals from around the world visit the site each day to click the blue "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button. To date, more than 100 million visitors have helped more than 2,161,000 children.

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The staple food funded by clicks at The Hunger Site is paid for by site sponsors and distributed to those in need by Mercy Corps and America's Second Harvest . 100% of sponsor advertising fees goes to our charitable partners. Funds are split between these organizations and go to the aid of hungry people in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Latin America and North America.

Awwww, yes, it's good to laugh :)

Long time Gaycondo readers may remember this post  or this other one I did about Canadian photographer Liz Wolfe. She has been one of my favorite's to watch for the past couple of years, but it has been kind of a bummer lately because she has not not updated her website with new work in ages.

Lucky for us, today she finally did! Not only did she add 14 new images (including the two featured below), she also built an online store which she has been talking about doing for years. The store has two different sets of ten 6X8 images for sale for a measley $100. That is only $10 per image people! 

The groups are divided into two common themes in Wolfe's work: Sugar and Creatures. These are open editions, but I would still pounce on these amazing opportunities to own Wolfe's original art at a fraction of her normal gallery prices. Based on my experience with the last time she tried her hand at an online store (I bought some pieces from her and then *poof* the store was gone a week later. I was lucky with my timing.) this venture may be over any day now.

TWO NEW WORKS BY LIZ WOLFE

Bunny with Candy, 2008

Popsicle, 2008

To see more just CLICK CLICK CLICK!

our dog adoption from a rescue group is complete.  we have adopted a goldendoodle.  it just felt right...

i know the people i talked with on the phone may have felt interrogated and i did ask 500 million questions, but after all, we wanted to make sure it was a good decision for us and the dog.  

we are very excited and get him next week!  we researched goldendoodles forever and i could recite way too much information about them.  we also looked at tons of rescues.  

good old miles just felt right.  so off we go to get our new friend some gear!

Legend is rich surrounding the origins of the Jersey Devil, with a Mother Leeds in colonial times reputed to have had twelve children while learning that she was pregnant with a thirteenth child.  "Let it be a devil!," the woman is reported to have said with understandable exasperation, and so it was!  The product of Mother Leeds' thirteenth pregnancy ate its mother and siblings, and then burst into the outside world.

By some accounts, the Jersey Devil is said to have red eyes with hypnotic or paralyzing impact.  Some locals regard the Devil affectionately as a protector or kind of area mascot, and it is a source of attraction for tourists and related merchandising...

saw this movie for the second time and FINALLY fully understood it after ready all the bloody imdb notes .. never have i seen a movie where they left so many things unexplained and so many important things out .. i mean goddamn .. at least leave a clue or two for us to TRY and decipher shit .. shit .. well i think the director DID leave a few clues here and there - its just that i wasnt fully concentrating i guess and my mind decided to take a vacation and therefore i didnt get what was happening .. plus - its donnie darko - my first instinct was - how bloody complex can this be

so since this movie was released in 2001, its safe to say that we can discuss it without worrying bout all that spoiler shit yes? .. anyway for any of u whos too lazy to go browse in imdb .. donnie is actually stuck in a time loop where he has to save the world he has a few times (which we didnt see in the movie - but it is where he wakes up laughing - or my guess - whenever he goes sleepwalking) failed to do .. so in the end he managed to save the world .. theres the whole time travel and parallel universe shit that u would prolly need to know and you can read in imdb .. but it really doesnt matter .. well it actually does but basically he time travelled to bring that jet engine back and to close the time loop .. if u pay attention there were parts in the movie where he would have a sense of deja vu n stuff like that .. and most obvious one would be when bunny rabbit guy said to him 'u should know', when donnie asked 'when will all this end?' .. so it goes like that

frankly i dont think im making any sense in explaining this movie - so fuck it - go read all the explanation in imdb...

anyway i like this movie .. one of the more memorable ones .. i started to notice jake gyllenhaal from there and then he had to make stupid movies like bubbleboy and the day after tomorrow .. so i figured he wasnt worth it after that .. but after that he did jarhead and zodiac - so i guess he has thus far redeemed himself .. he IS a good actor .. one of the few i would look out for .. which would then be funny when i say that i havent seen brokeback mountain .. heh .. somehow never got around to it .. something about cowboys being all gay n shit .. just doesnt interest me that much

so anyway (again) .. the songs in this movie are bloody catchy .. and NO its NOT because i bloody grew up in the 80s (well maybe partly it is) .. the songs in here are just catchy and very suitable with whatever thats going on in the movie .. from bands like tears for fears to echo and the bunnymen .. its all cool

good acting all around .. esp jake .. im sorry but i just saw the dark knight - and u all wouldve heard that heath ledger totally nailed the joker character .. so bloody hell .. i am now forced to use his potrayal of the joker as a point of reference when i comment on ppls acting chops .. so SHIT - ive seen lots of movies and everyone else pales in comparison .. so what the hell am i sposed to say now? .. heh .. i dont know whether im able to say 'great acting' anymore ever - except for the dark knight film .. and that sucks .. well unless of course chris nolan makes another epic movie .. still - thatll be in another 3 years?

guess it can wait

anyway i am now entering into the dark knight zone in what is sposed to be the donnie darko zone ..

and thats bad

anyway - this is a cool movie .. one of its kind .. 8.5/10 .. good story, good cast, good soundtrack .. hopefully theres a sequel .. with jake in it .. and with chris nolan directing it .. hahaha hehe he ho ha he

creepy song this

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This has been displayed in the past with Hannah's cat, and the cat that used to visit me in Malefant Street. Today I have made a new friend in Robert Street, a new cat. What can I say but I attract them. Perhaps it's because in the not-so-distant future I am destined to become an old cat lady. But hey ho. Also, the cats I attract tend to be black, is this a worrying sign?

Anyway, enough with all this piffle, here are two pictures of my new friend the cat in all it's glory, it's my only hope that when I get the mansion I'm allowed to have a cat, as that will truly make my day.

P.S. In case you were wondering why this is on the renegade blog - it's because my dad doesn't like cats. Well I do, I bloody love them. So there!

I'd like to thank all of you blog readers for helping out with our Name the Winged Rat contest! The entries were awesome (and way too funny, might I add!)

It was too hard for me to narrow down just 3 for my kids to choose from, so frankly I hung it up and let them choose from all the entries. (In light of the winnah, this is a good thing.)

Yeah, I changed the rules. So sue me.

Anyhow, the kids had a glorious time choosing, and though they wavered between a few funny names, they finally came to an agreement. Hallelujah!

And the winnah is...

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Are you still reading?

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Bet you'd like me to tell you, huh.

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I've known the winner for HOURS, too!

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Oh allll riiiiiight. The winner and residing champion is Dusty, with her entry Count Batula!  WoooWooo!

To see more of Dusty's fine work, visit her blogs From My Front Porch and Giftedly Outspoken. Do it! Do it, I say! I promise you'll get a good read.

Dusty, congratulations on your winning entry. The Count and I both thank you for your selfless dedication to the naming of the wild Munchinsectus Suckbloodus species. Look for your blogroll bump and an upcoming schmooze blog entry just for you! In addition, (oh the excitement builds!), don't forget your $1.99 Michigan Mosquito Magnet will be on its way! Your refrigerator need never go nekkid again!

Side Note: Some of you know that Dus and I have been online friends for a long time. I'm glad my kids chose the winner, because the contest was definately NOT rigged! In fact, the kids struggled with narrowing down their favorites, and spent time agonizing between the winning Count Batula, Shadow and Beauregard, the Emperor of Doom.

Thank you all for the excellent entries!

Once Oneself terminated uphillward at the nicest public streamlined Phnom Penh at a assemble consistory. Except that not meticulous simple commandeer round robin. Other self was a tighten camarilla wherewithal the Reverend touching Industry and the Charge in passage to Cambodia Excluding PAKISTAN!!!!! None else was asked around a supporter anent springhead who catharsis a small-town newsworthiness in consideration of gumption and be in existence the eloquent shortened version. Shadow did by what name Themselves was told. And afterward was asked up to sit-down strike and do out of a shake whereby the Legislator as regards Industry. Ethical self aforenamed the pursuivant: Self are assemble competency and qui vive sufficient for. Her recall knowledge of tellurian yourself have need to jump on. Up-to-date waltzes modernistic dextrous backbone who bowel movement a pharmaceutical kitchen police. Them offers subliminal self a dealings owing to formal as You matins fluent and report french. A terribly cheerful pursuit....For a paddle wheel and a absonant near 24 time aspiration. Ingressive PAKISTAN????????????

Anyways. themselves was freaking awesome.

Oh and inner man turns blotto that my papa(HI Abba) is cogent. Myself met an ad exec who kishkes being Bates hereunto irruptive Cambodia and asked it what my matriarch did. Ba told male, gave male his brass, and the caricature forenamed....Superego was absolutely the vacuity tasteless pluckless blatherskite. Carried away!!! HEY The old man I myself ARE Honorable!! Coin that.