Sources say that singer Rihanna was left “mortified” when a crowd of excited fans mistook her for being Prince, as she walked through a London airport several weeks ago.

“Some fans screamed out ‘Prince’ when they saw her,” one witness whispers. “But when they got close enough to ask for an autograph, they realized he was she.”

“She didn’t know what to say.” (Source: Star Magazine)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I would of loved to have seen the look on her face.

innocent by the commision formed by Sarah Palin to investigate the accusation of power abuse which had been filed by Sarah Palin against Sarah Palin.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's officials released their report yesterday that clears Sarah Palin of any wrongdoing in the firing of Stormtrooper Walter Monegan.

Sarah Palin is the subject of a legislative investigation into whether she abused her power as governor by firing her public safety commissioner, Stormtrooper Walter Monegan.  Monegan, says he was dismissed for resisting pressure from Palin's husband, Todd Palin, to fire state police officer Mike Wooten, Palin's former brother-in-law, and who, according to Palin "made my sister miserable even though she gave him the best years of her life."

Lawmakers are expected to release their own findings today. Campaign officials for McCain and Palin said the legislative investigation is filled with partisanship and is politically bent, so it's not objective or fair anymore.

"Sara Palin's investigation on Sarah Palin, on the contrary, has nothing to win or at stake politically and therefore, it's objective, reliable and thrutful. By the way, Sarah Palin found Sarah Palin innocent," commented McCain spokesman Taylor Griffin, who distributed the campaign's report.

Griffin said the report was written by the McCain-Palin campaign staff and based on public filings and interviews with a completly unattached and objective witness: Todd Palin.

lololololol.

superheroes just came out to defend American economy (from Bush) and attack the terrorists (in Iran).

Liberating Liberal vowed to protect Americans, and in particular middle class Americans and their wallets from evil villians such as Texas Terror and Viceful Vice. His powers include almost instant teleportation, (for example, he can go from St. Louis to Kansas City in a blink), magnetic fields handling, (which he uses to disarm people who cling to their guns) and mind controling (to bend the press's will his way).

Mega Maverick, on the other hand, is out to attack all those who might give reasonable probability that in the future, they may or may not harm America. His main enemies are Iraqi Iranian and Eevil Eenternet. His powers include force barriers (to protect his sidekick, Hindering Hockeymom), self-cloning (to visit all of his houses at the same time), and immortality (so that he can stay in Iraq for 100 years).

Each of them is accompanied by a sidekick. Liberating Liberal is assisted by Bumbling Biden while Mega Maverick is accompanied by Hindering Hockeymom. Their powers are not as impressive. Hindering Hockeymom has invisibility, which she uses to escape from "gotcha" media and appear only in safe places, while Bumbling Biden does best when he does nothing at all.

For those who missed last night’s presidential debate, here’s a brief recap of what each candidate said he’d propose to do about the current economic crisis:

John McCain:     We absolutely must address this situation in America because this is America and we’re Americans. We’re a great country, America. We’ve risen above challenges in America before, and Americans will come through this victorious again. America. I just love that word. Oh, yes. Don’t listen to “that one” over there (referring to Senator Obama) because he doesn’t understand.

Barack Obama:  We have to fix this problem, and we have to do it right. The middle class must receive support. They won’t stand for this any longer. This problem must be addressed and it must be addressed NOW. Washington cannot do what it’s done for the past 8 years. We cannot ignore this any longer. We must do something, and we must do it right. NOW. And by the way, what I DO understand is that McCain is being a jerk.

Essentially, it took 90 minutes for each to say what both admitted in their final comments. John McCain acknowledged that he had “no idea where we’re heading,” and Barack Obama said wherever it was, if he couldn’t figure things out when he got there, he could always ask his wife.

The great Tom Brokaw, who mediated this event, closed the debate by telling both men, “You’re standing in front of my script.”

 Read more humor like this at www.franklyfunny.com and www.totallyskewed.com.

immediately free 17 Chinese Muslims from Guantanamo Bay into the United States, rebuking the government in a landmark decision that could set the stage for the release of dozens other prisoners in Cuba.

U.S. District Judge Ricardo M. Urbina said it would be wrong for the government to continue holding the detainees, known as Uighurs, since they are no longer considered enemy combatants, and who have been jailed for seven years without a trial, despite calls from government lawyers who claim they would be jailed without a trial if sent back to China.

"Because the Constitution prohibits indefinite detentions without cause, the continued detention is unlawful," Urbina said in a ruling that brought cheers and applause from Uighurs and human rights activists. He also ordered a hearing for next week to decide where the Uighurs should be permanently settled. Until then, they will work in sweatshops in D.C.'s Chinatown.

Justice Department attorney John C. O'Quinn's request to delay the decision pending a possible appeal was denied by Urbina, who said the detainees had waited long enough. "One would think that if they've spent 7 years in jail without cause, surely they can wait there for a few weeks more," said O'Quinn.

The Uighurs, who are Turkic-speaking Muslims in western China, have been cleared for release from Guantanamo since 2004 and ordinarily they would be sent home. But they haven't been sent back to China because they are considered terrorists there and could be tortured. "Under those circumstances, we'd rather have them considered terrorists at Guantanamo and have them tortured there," said O'Quinn.

president just signed, created the opposite desired effect, a sell off that triggered losses in all markets in the world, including a drop for the Dow Jones that hadn't been seen since 2004. This was in addition to an unprecedent streak of bank closures, mergers and sell offs.

The president made some unscheduled comments both in San Antonio and in Cincinnati to soothe the markets and breath confidence back into American financial institutions.

"Frist of all, I don't see America having problems. The economy is growing, productivity is high, trade is up, people are working. It's not as good as we'd like, but  -- and to the extent that we find weakness, we'll move."

"I believe that in the long run, this economy is going to be just fine." Pointing to some business owners that were with him, he added, "The bill I signed is a big step toward solving this problem. Had we not done anything, people like these folks would be a lot worse off. As it stands, they are just bad and miserable. Fellas, I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

He also spoke to some reporters and citizens gathered to show that he cares. To a divorced mother of three, he said "You work three jobs? Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that's fantastic that you're doing that."

To a banker who asked him if the bailout would be enough, he answered, "We got plenty of money in Washington. What we need is more priority."

As a closing statement, he added, "Let's make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our economy."

And just how is it that he pays the same rate of tax as I do?

Fannie Mae said it is forgiving the mortgage debt of Addie Polk, a 90-year-old woman who shot herself in the chest as sheriff's deputies attempted to evict her.

Fannie Mae announced later that it would dismiss its foreclosure action, forgive Polk's mortgage and allow her to return to the Akron home where she's lived since 1970.

"Given the circumstances, we think it's appropriate," Fannie Mae spokesman Brian Faith said, "we don't think she's going to pay us anyway as the hospital bills will steal all our, I mean, her money."

Polk remained in Akron General Medical Center and was expected to recover from the chest wounds. Robert Dillon, Polk's longtime neighbor and the one who took her to the hospital visited her today. "She said it was a crazy thing to do, now that she's had time to think about it," Dillon said. It's not clear whether it was a reference to the shot or to the government's approval of the $700 billion bailout plan.

Episode #9 -music,life and wallstreet and news

getting way with murdering his wife and her friend in Los Angeles, O.J. Simpson was found guilty of robbing two of his own sports jerseys at gunpoint in a Las Vegas hotel room.

The 61-year-old former football star was convicted of all 12 counts, including robbery with a deadly weapon (himself), kidnapping and assault after jurors deliberated for more than 13 hours. He released a heavy sigh as the charges were read and said "wow, now I really have done it all."

Simpson, who went from American sports idol to celebrity-in-exile after his murder acquittal, could spend the rest of his life in prison. His attorney, Yale Galanter, said he would appeal. "There's no way he could have committed the crime because he's not murdery enough."

It was also announced that Las Vegas city is changing its motto from "what happens in Las Vegas, (doesn't necessarily) stays in Vegas" to "Las Vegas: No one leaves this room motherf..."

looming, a reluctant Congress abruptly reversed course and approved a historic $700 billion government bailout of the battered financial industry.

"This is just exaclty how taxpayer's money should be spent, in only supa-dupa necessary expenses like this," said Bush as he signed the bill with his $10,000 dollars Montblanc pen.

"We have acted boldly to help prevent the crisis on Wall Street from becoming a crisis in communities across our country, we saved our CEOs" Bush said shortly after the plan cleared Congress, although he conceded, "Our economy continues to face serious challenges. For example, private swimming pools are still not tax deductible."

The 263-171 vote capped two weeks of tumult in Congress and on Wall Street, punctuated by urgent warnings from Bush that the country confronted "the gravest economic disaster since the Great Depression if lawmakers failed to act."

"I have no idea how this happened, but we either spend billions on this bailout, or the American taxpayers and citizens could end up losing a lot of money."

The rescue didn't stop the Dow Jones from dropping 157 points. In addition to that, the Labor Department said earlier in the day that employers had slashed 159,000 jobs in September, the largest cut in five years.

"Let's not kid ourselves: We're in the midst of a recession. But it's necessary to avoid a recession." said Rep. John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, the minority leader, as he prepared to cast his vote for the most sweeping federal intervention in markets in decades.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson pledged quick action to get the program up and operating. "We can't have bankers go without purchasing power for Xmas presents this holiday season," he commented.

debate, most people in Springfield finally took a stand in the presidential election. Homer decided to vote for Obama. Flanders thinks Sarah Palin, from the Palin-McCain ticket, will defend family values and morals.

In an exclusive interview with Kent Brockman from KBBL-TV channel 6 news, Homer Simpson declared that he will vote for Obama in the next election. "It's time we have someone well versed on foreign relationships and national defense that will handle the economy well under the umbrella of jobs creations. He's also connecting with the national feelings of opposing the Iraq war while we go and bomb Iran. I hope he plays the sax and is as cool as Bill Clinton. And he's for controlling beer prices, mmmmmm, beeeeeeeeeeer."

Oh the other hand, in a street interview, average Springfield citizen Ned Flanders said he supports Palin 100%. "I think it's God's will that she's just a heartstroke away from the presidency. She will finally get creationism taught at public schools and defend us from our next door neighbors who happen to be foreign countries. She will also stop the killing of innocent babies and challenge other supreme court rulings that I'll tell you later. And she will pray for our military men and women who are out on a task that's sent by God. Yes, siree, that's exactly what they're going to do in a Palin and McCain administration. Do I think McCain is hurting her chances? Perhaps so."

Crowe believes the US government should give each American $US1 million.

His reasoning is the US has a population of about 300 million, so the $US300 million outlay is a fraction of the $US700 billion ($A879.78 billion) financial bailout package rejected by politicians in Washington DC on Monday.

"I was thinking," Crowe said.

"If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $US1 million."

Yeah, that. Because if you give a 1 million dollars to each of 300 million people it only costs 300 million dollars. Because multiplication and magic are pretty much the same thing.

first presidential debate that took place in the campus of the University of Mississippi Friday night, different polls have confirmed a tendency that experts had been long suspecting: Americans don't understand statistics.

The CNN poll conducted after the debate with 501 undecided voters had the following results:

64% didn't understand what "percentage" is.

24% thought an error margin was a page not being printed the right way.

13% said there was nothing better on TV that night.

The CBS poll involved telephone interviews with 524 adults and 3 minors and gave the following results:

35% found out that Obama really is black.

35% found out that McCain really is old.

31% felt dissapointed because Tina Fey didn't show up.

Finally, the Fox News poll involved online interviews and gave the following results:

45% wanted to see more pics of Palin in her stars and stripes bikini.

32% asked for our credit card number in exchange of naked pictures.

23% were busy sending "internets" for their computer illiterate husbands.

1% noticed that the percentages on these polls didn't add 100%.

1% went ahead and did the math just now.

Borat, best known for his documentary on American life, was featured on the catwalk at Agatha Ruiz de la Prada's show in Milan on Friday, bringing up the value of the playful show.

Borat is in Milan aiding his friend Bruno, a flamboyant Austrian fashionista make a new film.

He bowled onto the start of the catwalk rolled up in what turned out to be a long, black caped outfit with eccentric accessories. No one from the audience was able to tell that it wasn't part of the show.

Models had kept their cool but the designer was visibly upset when she appeared at the end of the show because people wanted to buy Borat's outfit rather than hers.

The designer said Borat's dress was inspired by Spanish painter Diego Velazquez's paintings.

 a Canadian Al Qaeda-style terrorist conspiracy, the first verdict tied to an alleged plot against key Canadian landmarks, such as the Mounties Igloo Headquarters and the Toronto Hockey Statium. 
 
The Newfee, who cannot be named because Canadian law prohibits the release of names of criminals who were 17 or younger at the time of the crime, was one of the "Kids in the Hall" suspects arrested in a police sting in 2006.

The members of the group were arrested after allegedly trying to buy three water guns and materials to build what they called "explosive putts" from undercover Anaheim Ducks.

However, charges against seven of the suspects have since been dropped, mostly due to health care related issues, while defense lawyers have cast many of the suspects as naive kids who were drawn in by a small core of extremists, like Pamela Anderson, Dan Aykroyd and Avril Lavigne.

The guilty verdict, given by Ontario Superior Court Jean Chretien, was on the charge of "knowingly participating in or contributing to activities aboot threatening the national integrity of Canadian welfare, hey?".

"I'm satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that (the suspect) by his participation and contribution, intended to enhance the ability of the terrorist group to carry terrorist activities against key Canadian Institutes, such as the Molson Dry brewery, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Headquarters and the Beaver Refuge National Park" he wrote from his chesterfield.

debate went smoothly, with Bill Clinton praising Todd's ability to race snowmobiles. "I like it a lot," he commented.

Fox's Greta Van Susteren was the moderator in the debate in which Todd kept mostly silent while Bill offered him advice.

"It's funny than when they hear 'Clinton' or 'Palin', it's not us that people think about anymore, I feel a bit left out," said Todd in one of his brief declarations.

Bill replied "Alaska's First Dude is doing just fine."

He also offered advise to Todd, who was resting his head on Bill's shoulder, "Whenever you start changing the deck chairs and gender roles and family roles, you have to be prepared for psychological, as well as political, sparks to fly."

"What do you think I should do?" asked Todd, to which Bill answered "the trick is to give support that is unambiguous and clear and to also be there with advise privatley, but do it in a way that doesn't, in a funny way, make her look weak."

Todd confessed to Bill that he felt intimidated by the media. Bill replied "Keep that smile, don't get defensive, try to answer the best that you can and go on."

The debate ended with Bill saying he admires Todd. "He must have something going if he can finish that 500 mile race with a broken arm," Bill praised Todd.

A 20-year-old man in Dublin, Ca. was arrested on suspicion of stealing dead animals from the morgue, then stuffing them in lockers at a Bay Area High School. After his arrest, he admitted to taking the corpses of two cats and one dog from a Veterinary hospital, and hid them in the lockers as a practical joke.

Okay, fine; these things happen. What I want to know is, how do you get rid of that smell?

More tragic animal news: a peacock was sitting on top of a car at a New York Burger King’s drive through. While employees were feeding it, a man suddenly jumped on the peacock and attacked it. He grabbed the bird by the neck, threw it on the ground and started stomping on it. When bystanders asked him what the hell he was doing, he answered: “I’m killing a vampire!”

The peacock, unfortunately, did not survive; the man got away. Rest in peace, poor bird.

It’s sweet, sweet freedom for an escaped Wallaby in Berkeley, England. Home is/was Cattle County Adventure Park, West of London, but since its escape the 60 cm tall creature has been spotted at a nearby hotel about a kilometer from the park. Park manager says the wallaby could have crawled through a hole in the fence or jumped it- wallabies can jump about three times their own height. A second wallaby in the same enclosure did not escape, which begs the question: did he leave her, or did she kick him out?

Most drivers get pulled over at least once in their life, but some people overdo it.

• A driving instructor in the Dutch city of Limmen lost his license when he was clocked going 172 kilometers per hour.
• A woman in Bulgaria celebrated her newly gotten license by inviting her instructor for a drink. At. The. Bar. They were pulled over, both lost their license; the instructor is no longer employed.
• An 18-year-old from Bergschenhoek, the Netherlands, lost his license after one day because he was caught doing 158 kilometers an hour on the interstate. (Dutch drivers can’t get their license until they are 18).
• Another Dutch 18-year-old, this time in Eindhoven, lost his license two days after he got it because he was caught with a blood alcohol level of 1.3

You don’t have to be inside your car to get in trouble: two 19-year-olds in Schmiedrait, Austria, parked their car in a wooded area and went for a walk. When they were a few feet away, shots rang out: a hunter in a tree stand mistook the car for a wild boar. Surprisingly, no alcohol was involved; time for an eye test, old man.

foreign relations credentials beyond seeing Russia from her house, the Palin-McCain campaign is having Sarah Palin take a crash course in word leaders by having them parade in front of her in next week's United Nations General Assembly. She will be able to take notes on the names that are too hard for her to pronounce.

"Well, since I had never met a foreign head of state, like none of the previous vice-presidential candidates in history did, and I had never traveled outside the US until last year when I went to Canada to get some cheap medicines, the Palin-McCain campaign thought it would be a good idea to have a show-and-tell class of world leaders. It certanly beats looking them up in wikipedia," commented Palin.

The first on the list was US-imposed Afghan President Hamid Karzai. "The encounter went remarcably well. We spoke for hours," said Palin. "Next time I might even have a translator to find out what he's telling me."

Next on the list are (in order of apparition), Colombian president Alvaro Uribe, Georgian president Mikhail Saakashvili, Ukranian president Viktor Yuschenko, Iraqi president Jalal Talibani, Pakistani president Asif Ali Zardari and Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh.

"We thought it'd be important for her to meet the Iraqi and Afghan presidents first, as well as the presidents of those countries who provided troops or permissions to use their territories in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars," said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt. "After the parade, she will have a quick test on names and color flag matching, but she will be able to use her notes and we don't count spelling mistakes for the grade."

Reporters who wanted to see the encounters were banned initially. "We don't want to get her nervous, so let's keep the cameras in and the questions out, mmmkay?" had said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt ealier. When the media refused to give coverage, Schmitt relented "it was all just a misscommunication oopsie, ya really didn't think I was serious, did you?"

 Sunday on her first trip on the campaign she now calls "the Palin-McCain ticket" to the battleground state of Florida.

In order to show how sure she is of her credentials, she went to perhaps the easiest place in Florida to get a large Republican turnout, stuck mostly to the themes she's hit since the Republican convention and took no questions from reporters or the crowd.

Nevertheless, she was welcomed like a star, with tens of thousands cramming into a plaza and nearby streets. Some waited more than five hours in 92-degree heat to see her speak for 23 minutes. Palin told the crowd her daughters Piper and Willow got to go to Disney World, although this time they will be flanked by security in order to avoid any other embarrassing suprise pregnancy.

Her remarks hit most of the same points she's made since McCain chose her. She did, however, update the stump speech to reflect last week's turmoil in the financial markets.

"This week when the economic crisis threatened the livelihood of millions of Americans, John McCain took a clear stand and supported the goverment bailout even if he's always condemned government bailouts. Our opponent refused to even take a stand on the position," Palin said.

In another show of how much the party trusts Palin's capacity, the Palin-McCain campaign has asked to reduce time for questions and answers in the Palin-Biden debate and to completly eliminate any interaction between the debaters. "We want her to focus on giving our message, rather than to be defending herself. We believe it could save us some money in air time," a Palin-McCain campaign spokesperson said.

When asked about her lack of credentials in foreign relationships, he answered "Nonsense. We have checked her knowledge on the subject with very throughout questions, like 'What foreign country is the closest to Alaska?' and she answered 'Russia' before we even finished asking the question. Of course, with all that pressure anyone can forget that the correct answer is Canada, but we still believe she's more than ready to be a heart attack away from the presidency."

government buy $700 billion in toxic mortgages in the largest financial bailout since the Great Depression, according to a draft of the plan obtained by The Associated Press.

The plan would give the government broad power to buy with tax payer's money the bad debt of any U.S. financial institution for the next two years. It would raise the statutory limit on the national debt from $10.6 trillion to $11.3 trillion to make room for the massive rescue. The proposal does not specify what the government would get in return from financial companies for the federal assistance. When asked about this, the president said "Oppsie!"

"We're going to work with Congress to get a bill done quickly," President Bush said at the White House. Speaking fast so as not to discuss the details of the plan, he said, "This is a big package because it was a big problem. There's no need to worry now on who's to blame for this economy crisis, which really isn't a crisis because the economy is sound solid, but we'll manage to blame it on the terrorists eventually."

Administration officials and members of Congress were to negotiate throughout the weekend in a non-disclosed spa-resort with casino on how to best use the taxpayers' money in order to avoid dire economic consequences.

Bush said he's making average citizens take on the biggest debt since the depression because he's worried the financial troubles could "ripple throughout" the economy and affect average citizens. "The risk of doing nothing far outweighs the risk of the package, and over time we're going to get a lot of the money back. It shouldn't take more than 50 or 70 years."

He added, "For some obscure reason which I can't begin to phantom, people are beginning to doubt our system, people were losing confidence and I understand it's important to have confidence in our financial system."

"In my judgment, based upon the advice of a lot of people who know how markets work because I certanly don't, this problem wasn't going to be contained to just the financial community," the president said. He said he was concerned about "Sesame Street" and that what happens on "Wall Street" affects "Sesame Street" right before one of Dick Cheney's aides came to correct him.

neighborhoods of Baghdad began emptying before a U.S. troop surge in 2007, graphic evidence of ethnic killing that preceded a drop in violence, according to a report published today.

The images support the view of international refugee organizations and Iraq experts that a major population shift was a key factor in the decline in sectarian violence, particularly in the Iraqi capital, instead of the troop surge that came too late and hadn't much left to kill.

Minority Sunni Arabs were driven out of many neighborhoods by Shi'ite militants enraged by the bombing of the Samarra mosque in February 2006. The bombing, blamed on the Sunni militant group al Qaeda, sparked a wave of sectarian violence, which resulted in the killings of thousands. As a result, there are much less people alive to continue fighting.

"By the launch of the surge, many of the targets of conflict had either been killed or fled the country, and they turned off the lights when they left," geography professor John Agnew of the University of California Los Angeles, who led the study, said in a statement. "Basically, people were already dead before the US army could come and kill them."