Throughout our whole life we have the responsibility to make choices for our own survival and experience.

When it comes to the topic of choice and responsibility, it takes a strong person to stand up to the podium to say that they do take full charge of all that they experience in life. Often we like to push responsibility off to others, not wanting to take control of our life because of the impacts that we cannot handle or find unjustified. We think that there is a time in our lives that we have to depend on others in order to survive, that we have no responsibility to take. If we really understood it for what it truly represented we would have already acknowledged that not only do we have responsibility for our lives from the time of our birth, we also have a responsibility to see that we get individually all that we need in order to survive.

Read more here

]]> http://cendana287.wordpress.com/2008/10/11/elvizas-writers-writuals-assignment/ Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:40:09 +0000 cendana287 http://cendana287.ro.wordpress.com/2008/10/11/elvizas-writers-writuals-assignment/ Elviza Michele Kamal of the Write Away blog - now here is one self-confident and talented writer who happens to be a lawyer. She's also a wife, a mother, a daughter and a friend to those who know her.

I don't really know about the other aspects of her life, but if they are like her writing, then she is more than worthy of a place in Malaysia's "Who's Who". No, not necessarily that one catering to "high society" but to "the real people" - you and I. The fact that I have included her link here, plus RSS her blog at the Cendana Blues: Addicted to Politics site despite it "not being a political-centric blog" (and have RSS it in my Firefox browser too) shows how highly I rate her.

It's hard to get me to write posts here even if someone were to pay me. And I'm not joking, for I don't treat this Recovery site like I do Cendana Blues. This isn't to say "everything that is posted here is of high/exceptional/outstanding quality", no. But things that do come out here come about "because I want them to; because my heart says `Write it' and I really want to". And for this one - "Elviza's Assignment" - I really want to. Which is why I'm leaving the continuation of that last post for the time being and am doing this one first. I'm just sorry that I had not done it sooner, due to my being caught up with quite a number of things.

So what is this all about? It's from a post at Elviza's blog titled Writer’s Writuals on Sept 25. It's rather flattering and an honour indeed that she had tagged me as one of the seven people to continue with this "Tag". And besides her self-confidence, she's feisty and vivacious too. Who would have dared to come up with this line upon tagging the seven victims: I found the tag at Writer’s Retreat and I hereby tag Mat Salo, Mat Bangkai, Jac, Puteri Kamaliah, Pak Zawi, Ahmad Cendana, Thetha, Kak Teh and Tunku Halim - only if he’s not too busy writing the new book. You don’t have to do it, but you will do it anyway because you love me.:-)

Yes, I'm doing this because I do love her; in the sense of her writing and her spirit - she is one of the people I "know" from the blogs who embodies "living, living life, enjoying life, responsible life..." (like a couple in Kuantan I'm fortunate to know of) And her writings? Oh my!... Just have a look for yourself.

No, she doesn't use the "carpet bombing style" in her writings - of `giving weight' to her posts with words that would require most readers who had never studied at Oxford University, or having lived within a few miles radius of Buckingham Palace, to reach out for the dictionary (actually quite common with some writers as a bullying way to camouflage their lack of real substance). Or in my case, that excellent digital dictionary and thesaurus, WordWeb (something that I'd recommend to people I really like; if they don't have it already). And I love Elviza for that.

To me, Elviza is like Puteri Kamaliah of kata kama. It's only quite recently that I had discovered the latter's blog (a few days before Raya) despite having heard (or "read") of her name mentioned here and there (But then, it's only since mid-July 2008 that I finally had an Internet connection at my beck and call since 2002). Both seem to have that same effect on me - their writings reach deep into me (And I'm still stuck with some inner turmoil having read her very first post of the "When Love Comes A-Calling" series. Which part and why is another story for this site here, "when the time is right").

Anyway, with Elviza, I came to know of her site from "Mat Bangkai's" very posh What! No Tea and Scones? (By the way, I `had cheated' by going to see what Mat Bangkai and Puteri Kamaliah had written first. Have to add that I sometimes feel small and inferior when I read the writings of people like Mat Bangkai, Zaharan Razak, Sakmongkol AK47 and my American friend, David R) (Incidentally, both Elviza and Mat Bangkai use the same "Cutline" theme in Wordpress. And I like their writings. And my blog here is on Wordpress too. So maybe I should also... NO).

Mat Bangkai came to my knowledge through reading Susan Bakar's excellent blog which is filled with writing/writer-related material, resources and links; and I knew Sharon through David R's e-mail from South Korea last March, when I had just gotten this Acer Aspire 4315 laptop ("The mysterious David R again! When will you write about him?", some may ask. "In its own good time".)

So back to this "Writer's Writuals": I feel quite odd being included in this. For one thing, there is still this part of me that wants "to stay in the shadows"; as in Pink Floyd's The Wall double-album ... to be anonymous.  But another part says "It's time to seek others' company; to open up to others, to know them, to let them know you..." And since you are seeing this post, the latter must have won this time.

CAPTION: Among the Pink Floyd songs that I had heard hundreds of times (might be `thousand', for it was "very often") since 1978 that are etched in my mind and psyche are the haunting "Time" , "Breathe in the Air", "The Great Gig in the Sky" and "Brain Damage"  from the "Dark Side of the Moon" album (1973). In "The Wall" (1980), `the extraordinary ones' are "Hey You", "Comfortably Numb", "In the Flash", "In the Flesh?", "Waiting for the Worms", "Vera"... Might as well name ALL, no?:-) []

Actually, I feel a bit like a fake when being referred to as "Writer". In my mind, this should be "author" too (as in "has written a book") - of people like Fyodor Dostoevsky, Charles Dickens, Arthur Conan Doyle, Frederick Forsythe, John Grisham, A. Samad Said, Shahnon Ahmad ... this type (Zaharan Razak has, and I think Puteri Kamaliah too. As has David R - with his 20-plus). But since it also covers "A person who is able to write and has written something", being WordWeb's less stringent definition, I'm going to oblige Elviza.  

Q1. Where are you?

In a village about four miles from where the nearest English language newspaper is sold. Mohd Zawi of Pasir Mas: The Land of the Golden Sand and Life As I See It knows its exact location. I'm in the living room of a "rural-Kedah-style" wooden house on stilts (which was once mine) 11 feet above the ground, which is on a slope with the mighty Kelantan River about 20 metres away. Only bits of the river is visible from the house due to mangosteen, durian, duku and coconut trees plus two bamboo groves on the different sides covering the view. By the way, I resolve to get this house back. How? "I have a few plans". Whether they work or not is another matter. But I have the ambitions and hopes fermented in Gambang and Kuantan and I will try.

Q2. What are you writing with?

If it's not by directly typing to the laptop, I usually use an examination pad or/and exercise books. The pad and book that I'm currently using have sentimental value - they were sent by my father to Pusat Serenti Gambang (PSG) around February 2006, which I had taken to Pusat Khidmat AADK Kuantan in September and `back home' (where the heart is. But then so is PSG. So how?). The pad is by creative products (CP) with mostly olive green cover, and the paper is the "just right" 70gsm. The exercise books are your regular thin, brown-cover Buku Latihan of 200 pages by NM Paper Converting Sdn Bhd in Province Wellesley South, Penang (the owner is likely a diehard Anglophile, and one the Umno and "Bahasa Kebangsaan" extremists would love to hang from the nearest rambutan tree. Oops! Forgot that politics should never be mentioned here). Anyway, as sort of to make it up, the "CABARAN WAWASAN 2020" AND "FALSAFAH PENDIDIKAN NEGARA" are printed behind.

As for writing instruments, I use ball-point pens - Staedler Stabilo, Reynolds and Bic are my favourites (but NOT the thin Kilometrico please; of which PS Gambang seems to prefer!) I used to have Parker and Sheaffer fountain pens (the lower end models), but have stopped using these 15 years ago. One reason why I'm not so enthusiastic with pens is because my handwriting is quite poor. But strangely, after coming back from Gambang, I've discovered "how to write better"! My handwriting is a lot better nowadays, but I tend to lapse into "the old mode" when in a hurry or tense.  

Q3. What is the oddest object in front of you?

Cheap "tembakau darat" (village tobacco) and thin phonebook paper to wrap it with. I rarely buy cigarettes since seven years ago, and this "tobacco and paper" (instead of "daun" or palm leaf that `ordinary people' use) is something brought back from Gambang. And prison. And lockup. The next "oddest" is perhaps this Huawei E220 HSDPA USB modem. (A lot) Faster ADSL Streamyx Internet connection is available in this area but I had opted for Celcom `Broadband' due to a couple of reasons (Getting only GPRS 53.6Kbps most of the time instead of the 384Kbps 3G I had subscribed for). 

Q4. What are you listening to?

The laptop's fan spinning and vehicles along the main road 30 metres in front. There's a hand-me-down, one-small-speaker Pensonic transistor radio with a non-functioning cassette player. Some weeks ago, I'd often tune in to Engku Emran's Suria FM. But I haven't switched it on since the fasting month; except to hear the Azan for Maghrib. Might start doing so again soon. But its sound is a put-off. If I really feel like listening to some music, I might use the MP3's in the laptop instead.

Anyway, I try not to listen to Pink Floyd's songs anymore, although I love them very much. I believe songs do influence us somewhat; and I try to avoid being in the state that I once was before going to Gambang. One thing about Pink Floyd's songs - they move me. And often not in a positive way. It's very easy to feel depressed and moody after an hour's session listening to Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall especially. When I do get a decent music system, I'll "be going a different route" this time. David R loves classical music; and since "he is what he is", I'm going to give it a try. Plus Malay songs too.  

Q5. Is there anyone else in the room?

No. "But where is your wife, children?" She's at her parents house 30 feet away, with my youngest. "But why aren't they here; or you there?"

Q6. What time of the day is it?

6.15 AM. I got up early to finish this post. When it comes to writing, I do it best from 4.30 PM onwards to the small hours of the mornings. And especially when it's raining. On days when it's stuffy, reading (anything) is more productive.

Q7. What do you do when you are looking for inspiration?

Previously morphine or heroin would sometimes do it. And spike it with methamphetamine (pil kuda). But since you always end up losing sooner or later, and since you have "to pay the piper" for "borrowing the inspiration" with hefty interest rates, I now look for other alternatives. One way is by reading the works of writers I like - like Elviza and those mentioned above. Plus from the books that I have (many of them are from David R; and through the efforts of a certain assistant editor with one newspaper), or downloads from Project Gutenberg. I think it should be simple enough - when looking for inspiration, look to the inspirational sources that come in those people, places and things who/that are.

Q8. What is guaranteed to remove your concentration?

Like most people, the handphone beeping a SMS signal. I'll always immediately check it. Usually it's the Alert from The Star (which could actually have been put off). But if it's from friends and family, I'd welcome these at any time, and wouldn't care even if it does distract me. [Psst! Awak berdua are doing just fine!:-) ] But what distracts and irritates are "vehicle horns" where I'd sometimes curse whoever-it-is in my heart. However, I try to immediately be in control and refrain from this for it's not beneficial to me at all. And it won't hurt the offender - unless I throw a fist-sized stone. Or, to learn from `Pusat', unleash `something' with a catapult (Don't worry, my friends, for I don't do that)

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If I was sitting with you now and said "Don't think about pink elephants!" What is the first thing that pops into your mind? Exactly! Pink Elephants!

You might think that this is a strange way to start an article but the point I am making here is extremely important and this light-hearted example makes the point very clearly. What point I hear you asking. Well, if you were to ask Paul McKenna he would say "The mind does not process negation." which is gobbledygook to most sane and normal people. However, if you re-read my first sentence above, the meaning will become very clear to you. What this means is that "the mind does not process negation…" but seriously, it means that your mind does not give value or attention to negatives. For example, if you say "I want to lose weight." Your focus and attention is on "weight" and consequently your mind will assist you in maintaining your current weight and even increasing it. Another example would be you say "I want to be wealthy." This one is more subtle because you are making this statement in a positive tone; however in your mind you are thinking "I don't want to be poor." And as your attention is on "poor" you will maintain and attract to yourself more "poor" or poverty. Is this becoming clear to you now? I do hope so. If not then I suggest you go back to the beginning and read this section again more slowly.   

To make positive changes in your life, you must think and make statements of what you want, not what you don't want. And don't tell me that these two things are the same, because they are in fact opposites and the results or consequences will be poles apart. You must have this clear in your mind to gain any real benefit from this article.    

Okay, now that the above is clear (I hope!) let us continue. To initiate any significant changes in your life the first step is to be very clear about what it is you really want. For example, let's say you want a new car. You would not say "I don't like my car and want to change it." as this is a negative focus. Also you would not be too general with your request to the universe and say "I want a new car." What will draw your new car to you is to be very specific and detailed such as "I want a new black Mercedes SL350 convertible, with cream leather upholstery, parking sensors, a built in satnav, black floor mats and a 6 CD autochanger." Now if you want to gain a huge advantage and draw your new dream black Mercedes car towards you with lightening speed you should also do the following:

• visit a Mercedes car showroom and sit in your dream car; wrap your hands around the steering wheel, smell and feel the new soft leather… now let your eyes drink in the elegance of the interior and the style and beauty of the body design.

• then book a test drive and think about driving this beautiful car and imagine the wind on your face and rushing through your hair.

• and now, when the time comes for your test drive, really enjoy it and drive it as though you own it and imagine that this beautiful black Mercedes SL350 is in reality all yours.

The final part of this is to hold onto your mental picture and to the feelings you have associated with owning this new car, and believe with all your being that this new elegant and stylish Mercedes is on its way to you and nothing can stop it. As Dr Wayne Dyer would say "You will see it when you believe it."

Here is another example for those of you who may be more spiritually minded and want to develop qualities and skills and not material things. Let's say you want to be a good public speaker. And remember that you don’t want to think "I don’t want to be a poor public speaker." First of all you would state very clearly, perhaps out loud and in your mind and even write it down "I want be to a good public speaker." or even better still "I am a good public speaker." Next visualise yourself giving a great talk to an interested and appreciative audience. They are smiling at you. They are leaning forward in their chairs to catch every word you say. The expression on their faces shows that they are so impressed and interested in what you are saying. Your words are flowing easily and you feel inspired. [feels good, doesn't it!]

Now take action to project this new image you have of yourself and to reinforce the new confident and eloquent speaker that you are. Practise giving a 5 minute talk on something that you feel passionate about. Relax! The first practice step is to do this on your own. Next, when you are comfortable with the first step choose a good friend or perhaps your partner or spouse (plus one or two other people if you are feeling confident) and give the same talk. You might want to repeat these two steps a few times until you have adopted and ingrained into your being that you are a good speaker. See this in your minds eye and believe it and feel it. Know that the more you believe you are a good (or even great) speaker and you speak in public the more this will be embedded into your whole being and public speaking will be very natural for you. And when I say 'public speaking' I am not necessarily referring to speaking to hundreds of people, although you may have this as your goal, 'public speaking' may be feeling more confident and comfortable telling a joke at a dinner party or standing up at a formal event and sharing your views with the participants or giving a short presentation at work. Whatever it is, if you follow these steps YOU can and will do it!    

The most important message I have tried to convey in this short article is to help you to gain a clear understanding that to be successful and to draw good things, events, qualities and people into your life and into your experience you must focus on the positive and on what you really want. And the very best way of putting this to the test is simply to try it. Well, what have you got to loose? or rather I should restate this in the positive and say "You have everything to gain."

I wish you well.

Anthony Fleming

www.Passion4Life.org

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1. LOVE - Do it now, do it often, do it unconditionally, do it forever.
2. Be Fully Present - many times when talking to others we are trying multi-task or our minds are already on to the next thing. Stop. Really LISTEN and seek to UNDERSTAND.
3. Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover - Looks can be, and often are, deceiving. Give EVERYONE a chance.
4. "Yes you can!" - You can achieve beyond your wildest dreams if you simply ACT with FAITH and DISCIPLINE.

Be inspired...

Here is a touching "tribute" video that's also worth watching:

(Bonus points to anyone who can tell me who performs the song in the video.)

This is the best explaination of the electorate I've seen to date:

George Patton

The toughest part in this may be allowing yourself to hit bottom.  This may mean having no money, career, direction, love, health, etc (you fill in the blanks and it hopefully won't be a combination of all).  I am starting to believe that by stripping all of the useless clutter out of our lives (tangible or not), we begin to realize what truly is important and that which we can not live without.  The necessities and those things that we deem important should then find their way into your life.  If not, they must not be truly necessary for your continued existance.

The question is........

Are you listening?"

-Malissa M Barbosa

7 October 2008

good about negative thinking – There are so many things I could write about I could talk about it all day. And I do! Take a look at my training page for my full day program on Managing Negativity. Or browse through the archives of this blog. But negativity can be a very useful part of your life if you understand it has value and not just believe that all negativity should be eliminated.

children hate santa – True. Some children hate Santa. He’s a big scary dude in red, like the devil. His name is a jumble for Satan. But who do kids hate more? Those damn elves!

does a negative attitude hinder blogging  - One thing I’ve noticed around the blogosphere is that a negative attitude is a huge component in blogging. There are so many blogs out there that just spew horrible, mean things that it sure doesn’t stop them from posting. I prefer having a positive attitude mixed with negative thinking. The old “hope for the best, plan for the worst” mentality.

how do monkey survive and learn – I don’t know how they do it. But as soon as I find out, I’m putting a stop to it! Check out Punkeys to learn more about the monkey menace.

responses when someone states the obvious – Are you looking for sarcasm or heartfelt? For sarcasm you can always drop a “Well, Duh!” on them. Or even a “Did you figure that out all by yourself?” But I prefer to look at them sincerely and pat them on their heads, saying “Good” in a soothing voice. 

monkey throw stones if in their hands – Yep. That’s what monkeys do. And if they don’t have stones around. Watch out. They make their own ammo!  

IQ of a jellyfish – I’m not sure you can measure the IQ of a jellyfish since it doesn’t have a brain. But then again, that hasn’t stopped some executives from getting promoted has it? 

Negative reasons not to live near volcano – I only have one reason not to live near a volcano – A horrible burning death by molten lava. So if you don’t mind that, sure, go for it, live near a volcano. Good luck!

gen x and gen y responsible for financial crisis – Let it be known that the financial crisis is so widespread that no one generation is responsible for it. The brokers are at fault, the lending institutions are at fault, the average person on the street who got a mortgage they never should have gotten is at fault. Whoever invented the “sub-prime” mortgage should be shot. Let’s give more money  than a person can afford to high-risk client who won’t be able to pay us back. Add a huge interest rate that adjusts with the breeze and WHAMMO! We’re in deep doo-doo. Politicians like to say we have an addiction to oil (which we do) but we really have an addiction to useless crap and spending. Negative thinking tells us we don’t buy anything we can’t afford, that we don’t take out a loan that we won’t be able to pay and that we don’t buy over our income. That 4 bedroom McMansion for you and your wife can wait.

 But we’re so competitive with the person next door and the image of success (not success itself, just the image) we’re willing to sink ourselves to get it. Or in this case the entire country. Too bad the taxpayers that stayed within their means, didn’t acquire massive debt and didn’t default on their mortgages have to bail everyone else out.

Thanks!

Steve’s book is divided into twelve chapters, centered on the themes Truth, Love, Power, Oneness, Authority, Courage, Intelligence, Habits, Career, Money, Health, Relationships, and Spirituality. Now this also scared me. Will I be reading some philosopher talking like Aristotle and Plato? Will I be reading a book that’s as difficult to read as Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, or James Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake? Actually no! This is where Steve surprised me. His writing style is very easy to read, and reminds me of the simplistic – yet lovable style – of Nobel prizewinner Ernest Hemingway.

Here is the biggest surprise of all! Steve bares his soul in this book, and you actually develop a liking for him. You think of him as a long lost friend, whom you haven’t seen in years. He has much to share, starting with his early teen years, where he was arrested for theft – yet the judge was wise, and gave him a chance to perform community service. Steve shares his triumph over academic hurdles, where he triples his college course load, and ended up with majors in math and computer science. We live through his entrepreneurship in the computer gaming industry, where he loved the field, but failed miserably financially. Then we realize his career switch to personal growth, with no background in psychology, or career coaching. Yet despite his early failure to generate income – he “kept on Truckin” as a Grateful Dead song reminds us – and became very successful.

There are a lot of wonderful quotes in this book, and folks I can relate to. I like him sharing quotes by Swami Vivekananda (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swami_Vivekananda) and Carlos Castaneda (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Castaneda). Carlos – like Steve – overcame hurdles in his academic discipline to obtain a PhD in anthropology, and write about a magic man, that “has a path with a heart.” And this becomes a guiding point for Steve as well. But what makes this book special is the interjection of practical exercises. This is something missing from classical self-help books, like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, or How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. One of my favorite exercises is the one where I envision myself five years from now, coaching my present self – I think it was the time travel exercise. And there are exercises to envision everyone as one. Now these exercises are NOT pie-in-the-sky – far from practical – exercises in frustration. They are real, down-to-earth, but practical endeavors. I sometimes have pictures of Sam Walton, driving his own pick up truck, and shopping in his own Wal-Mart, when I think of Steve. Even his experiment with vegetarianism I could relate to, and even embrace.

If I had to rate this book on a scale of one to five, I couldn’t do it. It would be above the five rating. Nor could I compare him to other growth artists, like Eckhart Tolle (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle), who has more of the “oneness message” in his writings. But unlike Tolle, Steve is grounded in the real world. Both the spiritual and the practical are bridged, in a cohesive whole – akin to the Zen saying that the “mountains are once again mountains.” I’m already looking forward to a sequel! You can order this book at www.amazon.com - I do this all the time, and take advantage of free shipping, on orders over $25. You can find out more about this book at http://www.stevepavlina.com/personal-development-for-smart-people/. The only point that Steve and I disagree is the role of organized religion. I believe you can embrace both organized religion and the principles Steve writes about. But Steve isn’t really a radical here, and this is a minor difference between us. Thanks again, Steve, for putting my mind at rest, giving me a great book to read, and getting to know more about the “real you.”

Randy Kemp

www.randykempcopywriting.com

Good Job Carl on this poster, I wonder if O.J. will find it as funny as I did?

Enjoy

ADORABLE
Acabo de vomitar un arcoiris

Sigue leyendo el resto!

INCREÍBLE
Cuando estés triste, deja de estarlo y sé increíble (HIMYM)

FIGHT!!!!

EL JESUS
Nadie le jode.

SALVA A LA ANIMADORA
Salva el mundo

AGUA EN MARTE

OH, MIRA
Encontré a Nemo

As a teenage growing up in Alor Star in the mid-70's, there were four main drugs that were the bane and dreaded by parents then: Alcohol (it is a drug), Cannabis/Ganja (or the slang of "dam"), Valium (Roche), and then the king of it all - Heroin. I had heard of LSD pills, which were associated with the 1960's Hippies, but never saw a trace of it.

Two of the above were legal, of course - alcohol (often in the form of beer or cheap "Maharaja" brandy) and valium. The latter was quite freely dished out by the government clinics then, and was a part of the medication therapy for those with psychiatric problems. All you have to do is to tell the doctor that you are addicted to heroin and wanted to stop. He'd give you about 10 pills; kindly informing you to `top up' with more after three days.

Taking one would result in feeling disoriented like a drunk and drowsy. The user's speech might often become slurred. It's something that never quite appealed to me, and I was quite amazed as to why and how some people preferred it. And I recently learnt that something similar to the 70's valium called "Domicon" is sold at RM15 each at private clinics. And to think the government could give it out for free back then!

But it was ganja and heroin (slang of "fit") that were the most common. And they were not too difficult to find either.

Yes, I was extremely curious to find out what they felt like. I had avoided alcohol then because I may actually be a prude at heart - it was haram. Yes, I know what some of you are thinking: "And heroin and ganja aren't??" But that's how jahil (ignorant) we were, plus an example of our "selective self-fatwa". It's also interesting to note that none in my group of around 15 had performed the five daily prayers (But we did go for Friday prayers).

Curious I definitely was, but I held on despite the chances that came my way - either for free or through a "collection", with each forking out the price of his share. There were a couple of stalls in front of Sultan Abdul Hamid College where we'd hang out in the afternoons after school - Kedai Ah Kaw (that also sold beer, and had a jukebox) and Kedai Busu (a Chinese actually, and who spoke flawless Kedah dialect). Ah Kaw didn't allow the teens to "smoke strange things" at his stall. Busu wasn't too happy either, and would utter a few curses and a lecture to those who did; about "Nanti kalau bond mai, hampa kena!" (When the detectives come, you all will get it!). But he didn't prevent the act.

And then one afternoon at Kedai Busu in 1976, a friend named Ahmad Zaki from Jalan Sultanah asked me "to conspire with him to play a gag and con another guy, Hisham". Both of them were drug users - smoking heroin mixed into a Lucky Strike cigarette. Now Zaki was someone whom I liked and was a prankster. The gag here came with an objective: "to reveal that Hisham was acually `faking it' - that he wasn't really `gian' but just pretending". That might look odd - bizarre even. But it was like that with some teenagers - proud of doing something that is wrong, and even faking a condition just to attract attention. In Hisham's case, I was wrong - he was `gian' then. [BTW Mohd Zawi seems to have concluded what happened, based on his comment on Oct 7]

Zaki showed me some white stuff inside a small plastic wrapper that was in small chunks, each the size of a matchstick tip (the plastic is the same as what we use to make the long "ice-cream Malaysia" - syrup or whatever left to freeze in the refrigerator). He said it was `chalk', and was waiting to share it with Hisham. Zaki wanted Hisham to be convinced it was really heroin, and my part was to take a few puffs and attest that it was such. The stuff (still inside the plastic of course) was rolled over with a bottle until it became soft powder.

[7 Oct 8:14PM - "Occupied" the whole day. This post will be completed soon, Sorry. A lot of things to catch up on. 8 Oct 1:25AM - Can't understand it; why am I so tired and sleepy? Had spent the whole afternoon sleeping but I'm still sleepy... Might be because of the medication I'm taking. Oh, okay - I'm taking Subuxone the past few days. It's a mixture of buprenorphine and naloxone (see information in the Drugs.com link) to help former heroin and morphine users rid the cravings for these drugs that sometimes come.

It doesn't replace what heroin and morphine do, like giving the "rush" and feelings of ecstasy (this is what that keeps users coming back again - to re-capture the feelings. And later becoming physically addicted). Subuxone has one benefit - it prevents one from getting the "rush" and other "pleasant feelings" should he take the opiates. Hence he won't get that desire of "wanting to repeat the experience" when the drug wears off - because he had not felt them in the first place! Subuxone is addictive, though not as severe as the opiates - which is why I don't want to take it. "Unless necessary". Must sleep after this - I want to meet with "Mister Pasir Mas" Mohd Zawi of Life As I See It" later this morning. Will have difficulty should I sleep late...]

[8 Oct 4:18PM - This story is "is tergantung". When am I going to finish it? Don't know. Right now I'm going to go to Pasir Mas town (I live in the rural area) to meet with Mohd Zawi. The next post might be about this. But that's okay with you folks, I hope(?) Oh, Elviza: I remember the "assignment", don't worry:-)

*9 Oct 9:13PM - Strange guy, this "d-addict". I had received an e-mail from him at 4:54PM. Don't know whether the address is valid. And he had included a 6MB RAR file (which I had not opened yet). Here's his message. Oh, to "d-addict", I hope you won't mind too much my producing it here because I don't see any harm either to you, me or anyone else. But if you're not happy, please send me an e-mail again and I'll delete his part from he post.

BTW, I'll be busy tonight and tomorrow morning with some work reading a book - Mike's Election Guide 2008 by Michael Moore (Grand Central Publishing) www.michaelmoore.com. A very nice woman in PJ had sent it to me.

"d-addict's" e-mail titled "I am sorry, but i love your blog": [Cut & Paste follows]

Hyung,

I am sorry if i made you mad
I am sorry if i am acting as a pusher
I am sorry if i have crossed my line
I am sorry if i have offended you in any way
I am sorry if you pissed with me
I am really really sorry

I am actually addicted to korean and japanese  drama. as the price is far more than i can afford, therefore i usually downloaded it from www.d-addicts.com. not just drama, im addicted to their songs too..

New stuff in my mp3 player is MC Mong. He is a rapper from korea and i like all the song in his 4th album. I have attached one song for you, title: circus. Mc Mong 1st single in his 4th album -my favourite so far and my ring tone. I like it cause the song is so meriah like dikir barat.

I hope you enjoy the song. and really, from deep down of my heart, I really mean, I AM SORRY.

Hope and wish u all the luck in the universe and live happily with family and love ones.

bye,
d-addict fan!

p.s- I have found the english translation for it in the net.

Circus Translation

When the cold wind blows will you come to me?
When the world is harsh and it annoys you,
Let’s play! Let’s laugh out loud just once
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Until this night is over.

When I was loyal to misers and to shady people
I was the star of entertainment,
but when goofing off I was just Mong.
I followed the spotlight around
shaking shaking in show business.
But don’t forget your original intentions,
It’s a punishment to get you to create your own music.
The audience is Gepetto and Mong was Pinocchio
A Pinocchio that would often fool the people
Lies and truth, you are the answer
The long and short of it is that
I’m only as tall as I am in the eyes of the public.

Ready get set go, set off the cannon!
Send your body flying
Ready get set go, set off the cannon!
Send your tears flying
No matter what kind of embarrassing situation crosses your path
Just have some fun
Show’s just begun 4th Album
Everyone is welcome in the Circus with Mong

When the cold wind blows will you come to me?
When the world is harsh and it annoys you,
Let’s play! Let’s laugh out loud just once
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Until this night is over.

A prohibition of the failure of society is project Circus
Music that shines with the focus on you
First and last place, the victor and loser
If you pulled out a knife, at least cut the radish
To the people who are dried up, that cant afford to cry
To the poor family who are gasping for air in a one room home
To the ones who cry in pain from the wounds caused by your sufferings
A prohibition of the failure of society is project Circus

Ready get set go, set off the cannon!
Send your body flying
Ready get set go, set off the cannon!
Send your tears flying
Hey, life is like a sitcom
No matter what people say
You have a right to get your share
Show’s just begun 4th album
Everyone is welcome in the Circus with Mong

When the cold wind blows will you come to me?
When the world is harsh and it annoys you,
Let’s play! Let’s laugh out loud just once
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Until this night is over.

Don’t cry anymore
I know in this outrageous world there are many pains
Don’t be late, be on time
Hurry and come together,
to this exciting Mong’s vagabond troupe!

One More time!
When the cold wind blows will you come to me?
When the world is harsh and it annoys you,
Let’s play! Let’s laugh out loud just once
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
this exciting Mong’s vagabond troupe.

[Edited on 10 Oct 10:56PM to rectify character set problems from the above e-mail from. I use UTF-8, which is the international standard. But many people use the Windows default of "Western European ISO-8859-1", which results in their e-mails (especially that sent through Yahoo!) having odd signs ... like "?" replacing ' (apostrophe) in my Mozilla Thunderbird e-mail/newsgroup/RSS client. BTW since this post has become a bit long, the continuation will be in a new post. At this moment I'm writing "Elviza's Writer's Writuals" which I had put off for almost two weeks with Windows Live Writer]

Rain becomes more enjoyable if it follows a sunny day
Food become more relishing if for days Hungary you stay

So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup

Gold becomes beautiful ornament by molding and heating
Marble becomes beautiful status by carving and beating

So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup

Pebble becomes smooth by constant rolling
Pencil becomes usable by sharpening

So, don't ever give up
Failure and Success is in everyone's cup

Keeps Smiling and have a great day .

]]> http://ticca.wordpress.com/?p=16 Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:52:50 +0000 ticca http://ticca.ro.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/abc-motivation/ A void negative sources, people, places, things & habits.
B elieve in yourself.
C onsider things from every angle.
D on't give up and don't give in.
E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.
G ive more than you planned to.
H ang on to your dreams.
I gnore those who try to discourage you.
J ust do it.
K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.
L ove yourself first and most.
M ake it happen.
N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.
Q uitters never win and winners never quit.
R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.
S top procrastinating.
T ake control of your own destiny.
U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.
V isualize it.
W ant it more than anything.
X cellerate your efforts.
Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.
Z ero in on your target and go for it.

Ritesh has reminded me of one of my all time favourite gujarati song - "મા-બાપ ને ભુલશો નહી"

Read and listen: http://rankaar.com/?p=114

Watch:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-TRVsFS4geI&feature=related

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=n_FDqY5zYJc&feature=related