Exploring Intimacy has one more exciting workshop coming up this summer. I will be hosted by the lovely and classy Aphrodite's Toybox of Atlanta .  

Fantasies & Roleplay for the Shy on July 13 (6-8p) - Interested in spicing things up but a little but unsure about how to do it? Join us for an introduction on how to add fantasies and roleplay into your intimate repertoire. Ruth will be joined by her spouse in order to give some live demonstrations on how to warm into three of the most popular romantic roleplay fantasies! Even though they keep things modest, you won't be able to help but create some steamy thoughts for planning your own adventures. Couples and individuals are welcome and reservations are suggested.

The cost is $25 per person, $40 for couples, and $20 for students with id. For more information on us please check out our Workshops FAQ on our main site.  To make a reservation, call Aphrodite's Toybox directly at 404 292 9700.  I'll see you there!

I'm also looking for special requests for upcoming workshops at Aphrodite's Toybox, or elsewhere.  What days and topics are of the most interest for you?  So far our "Being Orgasmic" workshop was the most popular.  Anyone interested in a repeat, or an advanced version?  Leave a comment or email me at exploringintimacy at gmail (dot) com with your thoughts.

'The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses! That's sexual perjury!'

-Jerry Seinfeld / Seinfeld show

That quote cracks me up and that episode is one of my favs.  I saw it again the other day and if you haven't seen it, it is a hoot.  George was complaining that he thought the woman he was having sex with was faking her orgasms with him. Elaine says, 'I've faked it.' 'With who?' Jerry asked. 'With you.' she says. 'How often?' he asked, looking a bit surprised.  Elaine tells Jerry that she faked it all the time when she was with him. Elaine points her finger from side to side, 'Fake, fake, fake, fake. Every time', she says.  From that point on the show was basically about Jerry begging Elaine to give him just 15 minutes to prove that he could give her an orgasm.  Hilarious!  

And even more funny is that Kramer confesses that he too fakes orgasms - this always throws me for a curve.  Come on men, can you really fake it? I mean if we're going to get detailed here, let's get detailed: I would think that if one isn't wearing a 'jacket', the woman would know for sure.  Enough said on that. But, a guy with one on...well, this is the scenario: He fakes it, cuddles for a minute, jumps off, and runs to the bathroom where he pulls it off and flushes down the empty condom...the only evidence. I guess it's possible.  

But still, it made me think, so I decided to investigate and see if I could find any stats. And what I found was this:  According to several surveys from 68-72% of women have faked an orgasm at least once. The 2000 Orgasm Survey, yes there is actually an orgasm survey, (Unfortunately I couldn't find a more recent one although it comes out every year)  '72% of women have faked at least once in their current or most recent relationship, and 55% of men say they can tell when their partner's faking.'  Is this true? - Men: Can you tell? It also states that 24% of men fake them too. So...Kramer was telling the truth.  

It also reveals an interesting fact that highly educated women are the most likely to fake their orgasms.  I have read this in a few different articles in my research.  Do you think that it is maybe because they have too much going on in that highly active brain and they can't seem to drop out of their mind and into their body? Hmmm... I wonder.  The Earthling Girls don't seem to have any problems! Any thoughts?

I was going to post, 'Ways that you can tell if your woman is faking orgasms' and I thought, 'Why, what good would it do?'  If he thinks she's getting off and they are both satisfied with the results, why reveal something that doesn't need to be?   If he's really concerned about it, he'll google it :) 

So readers...have you ever faked it? Dare to tell us? If not, you can reveal the naked truth anonymously and be a part of the 2008 Orgasm Survey.  

Oh by the way, National Orgasm Day is  July 31- which also happens to be the day the results of the survey will be announced - How many will you have that day?

How about today?...okay enough already! I really don't want to know. What ever you're busying yourself with, I hope that your enjoying it!

+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Hey ZL: Who knows about the humans they have captured for their food source. I hope that they are psychopaths but I have a feeling they don't choose their food that way.

Unfortunately I did not talk to Azza; she is way far away with the Climax :( I am still waiting on my ride and it is noted that you want to zip for a trip too!

The Earthling Girls are: Liang, Lydia, Madaline, Nadia, and Sheikh.  Latifa is no longer a 'girl'. The way they play 'switcheroo' it is hard to keep track - I guess they're doing their job. 

Howie, Al? I am a concerned about both of you with your health issues. Can you please just send a quick hello email or a comment to say that you are okay? Thanks.

Hi Mary:  'WOW!' right back at you! What a cool email to receive. I bet you are not alone in your fears in regards to aliens. I'm sure there are many that feel that way. I am not one of them but I don't think I am the norm.  I'm happy that my post yesterday put you at ease a bit although the food thing must've gotten to you, no?

Your mom sounds like my mom. I have been trying to get my mom into a computer but she refuses.  But now that I think about it, I am not sure how she would react if she read my blog everyday and believe me my mom would read it every day! I am now having major second thoughts, so thanks for jogging my brain in that area :)

As far as her being able to comment...your mom and a million others are trying to comment too. In fact I am surprised that you got in. I guess you were lucky and I'm delighted that you did. You can thank our current administration for blocking everyone out. It is frustrating and disappointing. Unfortunately I have no control - believe me I wish I did! 

My one suggestion would be for you to post for your mom since you have already gotten through; maybe your email will be recognized. I really have no idea but it would be worth a try. I would love to hear Gloria's  space ship experience and I am sure the TAO crew would be happy to discuss it with her. 

'Love' back to you, your mom, and all my loyal readers - catch ya tomorrow.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle  ♥

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We are told that ignorance of the law is no defense. Well here are some sex-related laws that are on the books in various states that may just shock, surprise or entertain you. The following list was compiled by the College Times.

1. In Arizona and 18 other states oral sex is illegal
2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on
3. In Willowdale, Oregon, it is illegal for husbands to talk dirty during intercourse
4. In Georgia, it is illegal for unmarried couples to have sex
5. In Washington, DC, it is illegal to have sex in any other position than "missionary"
6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to fire his gun while his female partner is having an orgasm
7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth
8. In Florida, it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine
9. In Utah, it is illegal to marry your first cousin if she/he is under the age of 65
10. In Washington state, it is legal to have sex with animals as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds

Remember that if you have committed any of the above offenses, you need to get a good lawyer, because you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you today, in full view of the public, to declare my undying love of coffee.

Not a day passes where I do not wake with a smile, satisfied that I have made the right choice. I run my finger gently along the cup that holds my beloved, smell her scent and kiss the rim. Tea cannot tempt me, and neither can these exotic juices that so many shallow minds fall for these days. When my darling escapes from under her coat of cream, passes my lips and her blackness burns its way down to my stomach, I close my eyes and sigh. How wonderful.

Our closeness fills me with amazement. One day I found that the mere smell of my beloved was enough to make me imagine the experience of her in me, and wake me up. Now we seemed to have reached a new level, one reserved for but the closest of souls: the thought of her alone makes my mouth water, forces open my eyes, makes my heart beat and tickles my stomach.

Long may we be happy together. Let everybody know!

A Reader

p.s. I would like to point out that my dear has recently had fits of jealously due to the cheap whores who hang out at American coffee chains, impersonating her. I take this very seriously, and have already written to the proprietors to ask them to get their act together.

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The majority of men focus on the goal of ejaculation instead of focusing on the process of making love. Once you become multi-orgasmic you will not only be able to completely satisfy yourself, but you will be able to more effectively satisfy your partner. After all, is that what it is all about… ecstasy for the both of you. You are completely satisfied and she is completely blown away… and she will be begging for more.

Let’s get a little technical for a minute… multiple orgasms happen in succession and without total loss of arousal in between each orgasm. Women on a whole are a blessed with a natural ability to be multi-orgasmic. The sad part for everyone is that many people do not realize that with proper training can do the same. For a woman, resuming stimulation shortly after orgasm will lead to multiple orgasms… usually within minutes. When a woman has more then one orgasm during a sexual encounter she is considered to be multi-orgasmic.

Men make the mistake of thinking that achieving an erection again as quick as possible after ejaculating and climaxing again within an arbitrary amount of time means that they are multi-orgasmic. Sorry my friend… if you lost the erection… that isn’t multi-orgasmic… it’s called lucky. For a man, multiple orgasms include only orgasm and not ejaculation. The exception here of course is the ejaculation that occurs with the final climax in a multi-orgasmic sexual encounter.
Right now… I think it’s important that discuss the technical side of sexual arousal.

1. Excitement Phase

• Vasocongestion
• Erection
• Increased heart rate
• Partial testicular elevation and size increase (Tumescence)
• Nipple erection
2. Plateau Phase

• Further increase in penis tip size and testicles
• Full testicular elevation
• Purple hue on corona (although not always)
• Cowper’s gland (pre-cum) secretions
• Hyperventilation
3. Orgasm Phase

Emission
• Sperm and fluid are expelled from the vas deferens, seminal vesicles and prostate gland, causing seminal fluid fluid to collect at the base of the urethral bulb near the prostate.
• Myotonia – muscular rigidity just before the release tension
• Blood pressure and respiratory rate increase further.

Ejaculatory Inevitability – this is considered the point of no return. There is a consciousness of imminent ejaculation.

Ejaculation
• Bladder sphincter closes tightly
• Rhythmic contractions of the prostate, perinial muscles and penile shaft propel semen outward.
• A slight clouding of consciousness

4. Resolution Phase
• Erection loss
• Testes descend and scrotum thins
• Reversal in myotonia and vasocongestion
• Reduced heart rate and lowered blood pressure.

Alright, now it is time to talk about the difference between multiple orgasms and ejaculatory orgasms.
Both types of orgasm begin the same way… when you move from arousal to the point close to ejaculation. It is at this point that a man will feel a series of genital contractions that will last anywhere from three to five seconds. These are known as pelvic orgasms, and at first they feel like a fluttering… or a slight release of pressure. When you identify and control these feelings they will progressively become more intense.

The key is when you are getting close to ejaculating the goal is to NOT let it go beyond that point to actual ejaculation, but to decrease stimulation… long enough to gain control over your arousal rate. To have effective control squeeze the pelvic floor muscles. Being able to control the pelvic floor muscles is the key to sexual stamina and sexual health.

As you can see, the key to men being able to have multi orgasms is to control ejaculating. This is why women in general are able to have multiple orgasms, women do not ejaculate. While there are reports of woman that are able to do that… the science on that is still out.

Here are a number of practices that you can try to help you learn how to control the pelvic floor muscles and become and fully satisfied multi-orgasmic man.

Breathing Exercises
• Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders.
• Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button.
• Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out.
• Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly.
• Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times.
Preparing yourself

Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing.

Practicing
• You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating).
• Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally.
• Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten.
• Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break.
• Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle.
• Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it.

Continue masturbating, except this time, keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period.

A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm.
If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing.

Overcoming problems

Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation.

Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally.

Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm.

Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes.

If you prefer not to practice through masturbating, then try with your partner. Either have your partner do the stroking and stimulation as an intense foreplay session… or continue to practice while having sex. There is nothing that says that you can’t practice and gain control over ejaculating while having sex with your partner. It may take longer, as it is much easier to be distracted and not pay attention to what your body is doing… but it is still very possible.

It is only natural for a person to wonder if age plays a part in becoming multi-orgasmic. The truth is no, there is no reason as to why a man of any age couldn’t learn to become multi-orgasmic.

I do hope that this helps you on your journey to a more sexually fulfilled man. Remember, this journey is about you completely enjoying every sexual encounter you have from here on out… but it will also benefit your partner… might even make you the topic of water cooler chatter in the morning as co workers ask your partner, “Wow, what happened to you?” As they see your partner walking on air because they aren’t able to come out of the blissful state you helped put them in.

Joani Blank, founder of Good Vibrations, on Chip August's "Sex, Love and Intimacy" podcast of 6/28/08 (available on iTunes):

Try using your hand on your erogenous zone, and resting the vibrator on the back of your hand, so that the vibrations travel through your fingers.  Or put a towel between the vibrator and your clitoris (or other favorite body part).

(paraphrased)

I gave up hope and laid on my stomach so Hubby could enter me from on top and my pussy would seem extra tight to him. Wasn't too long after he started fucking me again that he came. I felt ashamed that I couldn't bring myself to orgasm. Maybe I was trying to hard? Maybe I still feel confused about the sex tape?

I don't know.

Maybe tonight will be my lucky night.

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.

Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.

Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

Beginning the Massage

Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.

The Sacred Spot

Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand.

Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.

Ending the Massage

When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.

The orgasm.

OK, I'm going off the rails slightly here, because to the best of my knowledge, the Bible doesn't talk about orgasms specifically. It does, however, discuss how husbands and wives are supposed to love one another and not deny each other their bodies and all that. In other words, despite how some people seem to want to paint sex as a procreation-only activity, we are supposed to enjoy it. At least if we're doing it within the confines of a healthy marriage.

So here's what I take away from the Bible and my intuitions about God: We're supposed to make each other feel good. Wives needs to satisfy their husbands and husbands need to satisfy their wives. The Bible tells us it's better to give than to receive, and I believe we should take that philosophy into our bedrooms too.

This means, all you husbands out there, that you need to learn about foreplay if you haven't already done so. Many of you do understand this concept and work to get your wives well and truly worked up and push them over into fireworks by the end of things. Some of you, however, think that once you've exploded, the show is over. And some couples mutually seem to think that the idea is simply to plant the seed and be done with it, and orgasms be damned (for the woman at least; the man can't help but orgasm if any seed is to be planted). I mean, why would God give women the ability to orgasm, and give them the clitoris, which serves no other purpose but to incite orgasm, if He didn't plan on women experiencing orgasm?

If we husbands don't give our wives orgasms on at least a decent basis, we have failed. Doesn't mean you'll always achieve it, but it should be more often than not unless your wife has some sort of physical problem, like say lack of a clitoris or zero libido—in which case medical intervention and/or counseling are probably in order. Nothing kills a good marriage like lack of intimacy and lack of sexual satisfaction.

Ladies, I would like to impress upon you the need to stop with the fake orgasms. First, it's a lie, and lying is a sin. Also, if you let us men think you're exploding and you really aren't, you may never see a real orgasm. And if we don't know when you're faking and when you're not, we don't know if we've done a good job. So do use all a favor. No faking. Ever. Instead, help us learn to do better and help us figure out what you want.

Now, many men may be groaning right now. "Deacon, we men don't have any problems with orgasms; it's not our fault women have such tricky anatomy. What do we get out of all this? Almost any woman who isn't comatose can get a man to come." Quit your whining. We don't have blood dripping from inside our dicks every month either. And no one asks us to push out a watermelon from an opening that would have enough trouble accommodating something the circumference of a drinking glass.

That said, I do think there are things our wives can (and should) do for us, one of them being to realize that we often feel the need for release more than they do. But instead of me going on about that, I will hand this over to Miz Pink for a moment to speak on behalf of men with the women:

Hiya! Miz Pink here! Deke's already toldja it ain't much work to make a man orgasm. It's more work than he thinks, but he's right that it's generally pretty easy. Y'all know it. So I'll tell ya what we women should do: Make it nice. Don't rush it. Make it something to savor. And yes, let's humor our men a bit. Most of em like makeup and frilly little lingerie and high heels and whatnot. Men like the eye candy more than we do, so let's do them a favor and not resent them for wanting it. If we want them to do right by us, we also have to do right by them. And don't forget that sometimes, men need their egos stroked almost as much as they want some other things stroked. Also, give them some extra goodies now and again even when you don't wanna do the full monty. Five to ten minutes can mean a lot if you spend those minutes well.

So, as Deke would probably say if I were to let him back in here (which I won't):
Let the fireworks begin!!!!

Tantra, much like Yoga or Zen, is a path to enlightenment, which has its roots in India. It is nicknamed the "science of ecstasy" and focuses on heightening and prolonging the special awareness and rapport that exists between lovers during lovemaking. This view holds that the greatest source of energy in the universe is sexual, and places high value on ritualized intercourse. Sexual orgasm is seen as a cosmic and divine experience.

Tantric philosophy also teaches that everything is to be experienced playfully, yet with awareness and a sense of sacredness in every gesture, every sensory perception, and every action. The path of Tantra is a spiritual one, which includes and appreciates the experience of our sexuality and sensuality as a conscious meditation, as a flowing together of the physical, erotic and cosmic energies.

Students of tantric philosophy go through an extensive program of physical, sexual and mental exercises to heighten your sensory awareness. Through slow and thoughtful practice in lovemaking techniques you would learn to comfortably extend the time of lovemaking. In this way you would train yourself to be aware of not only your own feelings but also those of your partner. The spiritual part of tantra is to use your sexual energy to merge ecstatically with your partner and through him or her to become one with the cosmos or god.

A heterosexual couple practicing tantric intercourse seeks to prolong their sexual arousal. Following slow sensual touching a couple might move to having very slow intercourse. The man might place his penis just an inch or so inside his partner's vagina and without thrusting allow it to remain in this position for a full minute. Then he may gently withdraw from her vagina and rest his penis softly on her clitoral area.

Usually the clitoris is the most sensitive part of a female's genitals and it is located just above the vaginal opening. After resting in this position for another minute the couple may decide to have him again slide his penis back in. During subsequent cycles of resting and entering the vagina, the male would rest outside the vagina and then eventually rest just inside the vagina.

During the rest times, the couple might just lie silently together, or gently caress each other as they focus on the experience of their union. Throughout this experience both partners may be highly aroused, hovering close to the point of reaching orgasm on several occasions.

The art of prolonging the pleasures of lovemaking without reaching orgasm is described in the Kama Sutra, the Hindu sex manual written in the 4th century. "Karezza" is the term used to define a male's practice of pleasuring his partner and prolonging their intercourse by perpetuating his state of climax without actually ejaculating.

These so called "dry orgasms", orgasms without ejaculation, are pleasurable, and still allow the sexual act to continue. The art of Karezza incorporates breathing control, meditation, work with postures, and finger pressure into the sexual act.

La notizia ha origine da TgCom (e il consiglio è di non perdervi la sobria e realistica immagine a corredo del pezzo, scelta tra le vincitrici del concorso “L’obiettivo al servizio della pretestuosa creazione di confusione tra droghe pesanti e droghe leggere”). Verificata l’autorevolezza della fonte, tutti i quotidiani italiani ci si sono buttati a pesce.

Secondo il colonnello Umberto Rapetto, insomma, nel prossimo futuro potrebbe accadere di sentirci proporre di ascoltare una canna.

Ora però ditemi voi se è più deleterio per i vostri neuroni ascoltare un viagra, ascoltare un orgasm, o visitare il sito ufficiale del GAT del colonnello Rapetto.

No, voi credete stia scherzando: dico sul serio.

However..... last night Max gave me the BEST ORGASM OF MY LIFE!! OMG! and I have had some damn good ones! Just had to share! ;)

Ok... that's all you get. :twisted: :P

One of my favorite movie scenes...

Anyway, things with Hubby have been good. Yesterday was Canada Day but was too hot to do anything so we sat at home watching him play Grand Theft Auto 4, which was pretty interesting. We put out son down for his nap and guess what people, we had afternoon sex again. This time I was the one who started it and it was my idea entirely. I laid down on the bed and asked for oral sex, he's by far the best I've ever had in many departments. I'm not just saying that because he's my husband, I'm saying that in complete honesty. He knows exactly what I like and what gets me going...fast! I couldn't handle anymore and I begged for him to be inside me. It felt amazing to go from his tongue to his cock in just a matter of seconds. I rolled him over and got on top again, I love being in full control. He licked and nibbled my nipples while I drove him crazy. I started to cum and he started thrusting from underneath me....mmmmm yummy! I love that feeling when our legs are intertwined and he's thrusting while holding my ass and I'm grinding on top of him. He rolled me back over and took control. Fast, hard and deep, the 3 things I need with sex. He slowed down a bit and I felt like I was going to explode. I could feel him rubbing on my G-Spot again and I felt like I was going to rip the sheet apart. My orgasm was so strong, I could barely contain myself and keep quiet (somewhat). That's when I knew I had gushed. He came immediately after that. When we were cleaning up afterwards I found out just how much I had gushed and my god, I surprised myself.

Now about today! After much consideration I finally decided to make Hubby a sex tape. I put on my fish-net bodystocking and pulled out the vibrators. I carefully angled the camera to the bed and pressed record. I blew a kiss to the camera just to tease them, then I started in. I'm not going to get into details about it just yet because I want to see what Hubby's reactions are first. I played it over after I was done and I got turned on all over again (hee hee). He doesn't know what I've done, nor does he have any idea that I was thinking about it. He hasn't talked about it in months so I hope he's really surprised.

New compie is ordered and paid for now, should be here middle of next week, so I have until then to try and get through all this work I have at the moment and sort this thing folders wise and do some backups, all time consuming crap. My son's Dad flew in this morning at about 4am and I've not heard from him so I am assuming everything is okay.

Mastersvixen has now been completely removed from everywhere, Fetlife was the last place for it to go. Still a vixen just not Master's anymore, plain old nilla impaired instead hehe. Somebody already had vixen :(

I have to learn to say thank you more often. I am really shit at taking compliments regarding my looks. I don't think of myself as pretty, Jay used to get so fucked off at me but he understood that for me beauty isn't external, it's internal. I am one of those people who grew up with abuse via a stepfather, not the physical kind but the emotional abuse which apparently a psych said was able to have a more far reaching impact than physical abuse had, I don't talk about it on here because it's personal and something I will only discuss with people on a close friends level. Also the reason why I have major limits and are very wary of humiliation play and degradation.

Either way it did have an effect on my growing up, reasons behind decisions I made, I was one of the lucky ones, I got out okay, I knew it wasn't me, it was his illness that caused me so much pain as a child BUT it does have a lasting effect, one which I continue to battle, little coping mechanisms, reaction triggers. A close friend of mine was physically abused in a relationship for a number of years, its been 7 years since she left him, but the scars remain, little triggers such as mine that set us off on a tangent, but we ARE aware, we know these things are no fault of our own, just something so deeply ingrained. With time and love these things fade. Hence the little stupid issues I have with compliments in general. I suppose a sense of disbelief and yes I know it's completely stupid.

Alot like my spiritual stuff, most people who know me don't have any clue I am pagan, my close friends know I am but its not an outward thing, the only things they notice is my mantlepiece has aquired alot of bits and bobs and my "star" as my son calls it, around my neck are the only visible signs. They know I sometimes act a little weird or sense things but thats it and they are used to me going off on little tangents or suddenly telling a spirit to sod off and leave me alone lol. It's my thing. I had a Dom mention he and I wouldn't be compatible because I was "metaphysically" minded... lol what does one say *sigh*... funny how people make such decisions without getting to know someone first, I wasn't actually interested in him in that way, more an "intellectual" friend. Friendships can bring so much richness to someone's life.

I grew up as a tomboy, I am a jeans and t-shirt girl. My skin reacts to make up, at the moment it is clearing up after the last time I wore the damn shit. I love dressing up, make up the works, but it's not cheap to do so lol. One reason no more smoking, I figure if I can spend that much on ciggies all the time, that money would be put to better use in making me feel good. Well that's my theory, and I won't even start on the whole smoking thing. I am giving up for me and I refuse to be one of those "non smoker that gave up preaching type fucktard", that holier than thou attitude gets up my nose. So what you gave up smoking like thousands of other people because why? ... because its fucking gross and one day if something else doesn't first, it will kill you. There, easy wasn't it. Now shush.

Gawd I am getting really good at rambling shit. I will try do some decent posts when I have a little free time. At the moment its not happening lol. I jump on here, write like a madwoman then bugger off to work again, today it's work and I have people popping in and out today.

Dating update: meh

Smoking update: now day 2, mood great, no cravings oddly, walks around saying "I am a non smoker" :D

Not only does it affirm my mastery of her body and my own, and the alchemical process therein, but it just plain turns me on. Her eyes either close shut firmly, or remain open with a firm, concentrated stare into the void. Her brow straightens out and her lips tighten in an open-mouthed gasp.

Down below, I feel her pussy clenching. Gripping and releasing, spasming around whatever I've decided to ram up there. Her breathing rate increases and the look on her visage changes from intense introspection to anguished grasping. Her mouth widens and eyebrows arch. A silent gasp seems to try and escape her lungs. . .her eyes bolt open and a scream builds from the depth of her diaphragm up her torso and rockets from the devil within her. . . .Oh my.

That's my girl. . .

You lay down next to me and my hand finds your hard cock. You moan and we kiss while I stroke it, carefully so you're not gonna be too close to an orgasm. "You take control tonight," I say as you take out a pair of handcuff and lock my wrists together.

You start slow, teasing your way in. I can do nothing because my wrists are locked together above my head. I love it. You know that I love it and you love controlling me. "Kiss me babes," you say between gasps of breath. I kiss your mouth, face, neck, and throat and lick the salty sweat of you. I love the way you taste.

You raise my legs as you sit up and start fucking me hard, my legs wrapped around your neck. You know I love it, that I can come again and again like that. I don't want lovemaking tonight. I want you to be hard and rough and that's what you are giving to me. I moan your name as you bang into me while leaning down to suck on my nipples. It doesn't take me long to come. My body arch and I gasp and scream. It's surreal! "Here comes again," you say and start the continue the way you did before I came.

You let me come three times like that. Then you have to stop, afraid that you'll come. You wanna give me more. I want more. We both love the helplessness the handcuff gives me. "Turn around beautiful," you command. You help me as I'm not all that flexi with my wrists together. I'm bent over, my butt sticking up, but kept close to my heels. My legs widely spread. You enter me. This is your position. You love this. I love this. You pound into me, even harder than when I had my legs over your shoulder. It's almost painful, but it's so pleasurable I can tolerate the pain. You make me come again. Twice. The second time you come with me, gasping my name. We say in that position for a while before you slide out of me. Leaning forward you kiss my lips while unlocking the handcuffs. "I think you're amazing Hun,” you whisper as we lay down next to each other.

I have been thinking about it, and I decided that I would regularly include sexual posts in the health section of my blog. Not about commercialized porn sex, but about reality. When I become a little more direct about sex I will put a certification of PG18 on the blog. That way, if you feel offended or uncomfortable you have the option to skip this posting.

There are many types of self love. Doing things to take care of your mind, body and soul are all important parts to incorporate into that theme. That includes sex.

Many people talk about masturbation as a sin, or something dirty or to be ashamed of. My friend Lindsey pointed me to the passages in the bible which describe the act of masturbation as a sin, but they are ambiguous to say the least. The teaching was actually about the sin of betrayal, and vanity rather than the act of masturbation itself.

The media images that we see constantly however are all about how we are supposed to have these amazing sex lives. I want to ask you, if you don't know how to please yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to be able to do the job?

Lets get down to it, women are very difficult to please sexually, to be blunt. Each woman is built just a little differently. Yes, we all have the same basic body parts, but the stimulation zones are unique to each. Men may prefer to be stimulated a certain way, but they can usually achieve results with minimal effort. Women on the other hand need it to be right or, well, there is alot of faking going on. If the woman has no clue as to where her spots are, then the man will have little chance of finding them.

Sexual aids and toys are available to us in our society like they have never been before. Technological and scientific advances and our changes to our thinking and moral compass have led us to being far more open about our sexuality. It is no longer a taboo subject to talk about nor is it shocking to see a sex shop on the street. Science has stripped down the mystery to sex and orgasms and they have provided us with tools for the job (so to speak).

One of the things I think is great is the availability of quality lubricants and massage oils that not only oil the way, but they give warming sensations and taste pretty good too.  Joy all the way around. Old fashioned petroleum jelly usage was messy and unappealing. The new stuff is far more like what our own body secretes and therefore alot more comfortable to use. Plus, who ever would want a mouth full of vaseline or ky jelly?  Some of these are mixed with aroma therapy oils and provide relaxation and stimulation at the same time.

Of course then we get to the sex toys. They come in every shape, size and design. Some make my eyes water at just the thought! But most are engineered to work with the body and give the maximum amount of pleasure by stimulating erogenous zones effectively.

The health benefits of masturbation are many. Achieving an orgasm helps to lower stress, blood pressure, anxiety, tension, sensation of pain, creates a healthier self image, and releases endorphins that are similar to those released by exercise which give the feeling of wellness and health. Pretty impressive.

There is one aspect that does occur to me as I write about the whole "self love" and masturbation concept. Its the need for communication between those in a partnership. Feelings can be hurt if this subject isn't discussed. A woman for example walking into the bathroom and finding her partner in the shower masturbating could be hurtful and awkward for both parties. Thoughts like, aren't I enough? Don't I turn you on? All of these things run through one's head. Then from the other side, the shame of being caught "red handed" so to speak is a biggie. People become defensive.

Since people use masturbation for all kinds of reasons from stress relief, to pain relief to just it feels good at the moment without much thought, it is not wise to focus the blame on anything or jump to conclusions. Communicating your feelings and thoughts constructively to your partner can really minimize these fears arising.

When we add the factor of the internet to Self Loving, it becomes a whole new ball game. It is no longer a personal thing. If you are masturbating with another person, it is flat cheating. If you are looking at pornography, then you had better have a mutual agreement with your partner first. Otherwise BIG problems will occur. Trust issues arise and the threads of your bond are at the least stretched, and at the worst start to break.

I am not casting any sin upon anyone with my post. I am neither judging nor am I condoning. I am talking simply about what is, and why its important. Morality is a personal thing and I would never assume to tell anyone else what theirs should be.

I guess my point to you in this post is: That since masturbation is so much about pleasure, personal empowerment, being with and comfortable with "you" it has to be a good thing.. right?