While you're all waiting for that .gif file to load, at precisely eight minutes and eight seconds past eight o'clock this morning, today's digital date and time wiil be 08/08/08 08:08:08.

And since she's back in the news again for actually memorizing 30 seconds worth of lines, here's The Many FACE of Paris Hilton:

[Tip o' the tarboosh to Phreak 2.0 for the Tour de Paris.]

Hammer-Blogs.com

1.

Rock & Roll with Four Wheel Drive, Staines

Four Wheel Drive at HOBGOBLIN STAINES, Thu Aug 07 2008 8PM £3

Four Wheel Drive is a band that exists to play live. They deliver what can only be described as a relentless onslaught of good time, balls out Rock 'N' Roll. Ben Austwick and Paddy Achtelik provide rhythm guitar interplay recalling Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards at their best; while Ben also hits you with incendiary, gut-wrenching, Blues-based lead guitar with the same sheer physical force of Stevie Ray Vaughan and Angus Young.

The rhythm section generates a force capable of knocking down walls, yet with enough control to retain the R'n'B feel of '70s Aerosmith and Rolling Stones. The band have been clocked at close to 120 decibels in rehearsals, almost earning the Guitar Institute their first ASBO!

This musical force of nature is topped and led by Jamie's vocals. Switching between a sleazy drawl reminiscent of Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler, and the ball-busting scream of Back in Black-era Brian Johnson, the vocals compliment both the Rhythm 'n' Blues and Rock elements of the band. Tightly rehearsed vocal harmonies add an extra dimension to the songs, giving the live performances the same depth as the recordings.

The songs have always been written with the live show in mind and the delivery is enough to get anybody’s mouth away from their pint. Four Wheel Drive is made up of a highly “driven” collection of individuals whose lives are designed around the band to make sure it is constantly moving forward. New material is always being written and they can, and do, play any night of the week.

Jamie and Ben’s mutual love of all things Rock 'N' Roll make them a well suited writing partnership. Above you will find a taster of the music they've written since graduating from The Institute in summer 2007. After finding guitarist Paddy Achtelik at the new Guitar Institute in Kilburn, and introducing extremely talented drummer Will Richards thanks to ACM in Guildford… The Band is ready… It’s Time To Go.

If you miss 'em in Staines (don't) then catch the boys here:

Aug 30 2008 Filthy's Heath Road, Twickenham

Sep 25 2008 Filthy's Heath Road, Twickenham

Check them on:

http://www.myspace.com/4wdtheband

2.

Enjoy some punk with the Blow Ups, Staines

The Blow Ups Aug 10 2008 8:00P The Hobgoblin, Staines

Noisy and fast, loud and fun, The Blow Ups are a four piece punk band from South West London with a memorable melodic edge. They are set apart from the rest of the punky contenders by lead singer Kelly. With an impressive stage presence and a powerful voice she dominates the songs and the stage. The songs are full of sharp observations about superheroes in rehab, c-list celebrity drop outs, alienation and abuse.

Band Members:

Kel - vocals and guitar
Arda - bass and backvox
Marc - lead guitar and backvox
Cem - drums

Check them on:

http://www.myspace.com/theblowups

3.

Enjoy the smooth sounds of Succotash

Succotash at Six Bells, Brentford August 10 9:00P

Just to let you know that Carl (drummer in Staines favourite band Foulplay) and his ravishing young assistant, Ravi (solo guitar and a local staines hero), will be playin' dahn The Six Bells, 148 High Street, Brentford TW8 8EW on Sunday 10^th August @ 9pm.

It’s a “proper” London boozer wiv a very friendly atmosphere and, more importantly, good beer!

So, cor blimey, Guv’nor, stike a light, better get yerselves dahn the “frog & toad” rahnd the “Johnny ‘orner” & into the “Rub a Dub” for a right old Cockerney “Knees up”.

If you miss Ravi and Carl at the Six Bells Brentford, catch up wiv 'em at:

Sep 12 2008 9:00P Three Horsehoes Laleham

Oct 18 2008 9:00P Red Lion Egham

Check them at:

http://www.myspace.com/succotashuk

4.

Get wowed by the New Assassins at Staines

New Assassins with 4WD at THE HOB STAINES Aug 07 8:00P

The New Assassins

MIK PERRY - Vocals & Guitar RIK PAYNE - Lead Guitar
NOAH HARMON - Bass Guitar. DAN MCDONNELL - Drums.

The New Assassins are an American sounding rock band from Staines ( they like to call themselves ‘the elder statesmen of Staines- but they don’t seem to look as old as Ming Cambell to me!) and they play everything from experimental, punk, new wave to raw blues, rock to indie. I saw them play at The Hob, Staines last year.

Some of their material seems a bit experimental and improvised- yet tight enough that it does not stray into ‘jazz odyssey’ territory. If you take a pinch of PiL (Public Image Ltd) and then add a spoonful of psychedelia a lá The Verve with a dollop of post-punk juice like Joy Division you get close to the sound of the New Assassins.

In fact, the band look awfully similar to The Verve in appearance but seem less inclined to shoegaze and more inclined towards a more raucous and, to my mind, enjoyable rocky style more like The Black Crowes.

Check them here:

http://www.myspace.com/newassassins

Highly Recommended by Ad Pontes


5.

Get your holiday reading in - local author

Prank! By local author - Price £8.54 (5% discount) from Amazon

The Hilarious New Book by Hag Hughes

Lots of local landmarks feature in the new book by New Haw author Hag Hughes make this an entertaining read- just right for your summer reading list.

The plot of the story revolves around the World Endurance championship and features fun-loving Weybridge man Paul "Hazy" Hayes who spends most of his booze-fuelled time plotting wind-ups. Then during one of his pranks something goes horribly wrong and someone winds up dead. If you were a mate of Hazy's would you help him dispose of the body and cover-up the evidence? We follow Hazy as he battles with friends, foes, lovers and his own conscience and attempts to hold his life and sanity together under the crumbling reality of divorce and self-destruction. Oh, and don't forget the body in the boot of his car...

With references to lanmarks in Shepperton, Addlestone, Brooklands and Weybridge, this is a great book for any local reader.

Order Your copy of Prank! Click Here Now

Availability: In stock. Dispatched from and sold by Amazon.co.uk

Get Your Tickets for Beck Theatre, Hayes

The Beck Theatre
Grange Road
Hayes
Middlesex
UB3 2UE

-Visit AdPontes-Staines Regularly for Staines Arts-

Winner: Husband
(until later that night)

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength and breath,
And the want
Of thought is death,

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live
Or if I die.

- William Blake

so i finally get my roomate list.  oui, enfin!  and... i don't know any of them.  at all.  i received a list with phone numbers and names.  so, you can just imagine:

roommate:  hello?

me:  hi, my name's josh, i'm a freshman at shawnee.

roommate: okayyy...

me:  well, i'm calling because we're going to be roommates, and-

roommate: wait, is this a prank?

so yeah. way to go, housing and residence life office.  an e-mail address would've been wayyy less awkward.  ah, well.  guess this is part of life now: social interaction.  man, i hope jedi mind tricks still work.

this morning, i'm making a list of shopping:  suddenly i remember that my dorm comes furnished with a fridge.  score!  save $60.  yesss!!  more money towards my slr.  now, i just need a tv and an xbox.  hey, maybe one of my roommates will have one.  and maybe they'll call me first!  haha.

this pretty much made my day (or morning, considering the day's not over yet):  someone favourited one of my photos on flickr (http://flickr.com/photos/speakwithoutmakingasound/2723444638/).  i was really flattered.  i've always liked that shot, and for someone i don't even know to say they like it... je suis dans le ciel (i'm in heaven).  it's the little things, i swear.

well, that's the end of this post because i'm leaving in like ten minutes.  au revoir pour l'instant! (good-by for now!)

ht - Post at ReallyRobins. Happy August 1st.

Who didn't see this coming? With the internet age, just about anybody except your grandmother can be posting music online. While your grandmother is still trying to download MP3's on a typewriter, the next next big indie label is going to step up and possible outsell the majors. Artists are wising up and working with indies since it is more of an incentive deal, you do good you get paid and you don't... you don't. Simple. You do better next time. Majors are still on the, you get paid, you do good, they bleed you dry till they find another. You do bad, they drop the artist and they never touch music again unless its on mixtapes, reunion tours, or a reality show.

In Conclusion, majors are not close to being obsolete though since they own TV, Radio, Venues, Stadiums, and you. They have investors, and people who believe it can change, and little do they know record sales are a bubble that started a few decades ago, and when that internet needle came and popped it, indies jumped on life rafts that were significantly smaller but they are making some waves. The last major waves from the majors get smaller everyday, while the indies grow from their small ships. So Indies haven't taken over yet, they just haven't hit their bubble yet.

Inspired by HypeBots prank, Major record labels are obsolete

From the mind of

Keveeno

Here's another where he hits up a used car lot!

And I saved the best for last... this guy goes off!

Truly,
Mr. Echo

In case you didn't catch it, the sign reads: "WARNING: Due to overfeeding some pigeons may be aggressive"  HAHAHAHAHA!  That'll teach you to feed the birds, you stupid old bastard!

I drink, excessively and often. I prank others. I vandalise. I Steal road cones, street signs, basically anything not nailed into the ground. I Tax dodge. I'm always asking for discount, on even the most mundane items. I am the loveable student.

So then I've been getting increasing flak from colleagues at my part time job. This accompanied with the addition of dreadful sleep patterns, that I've gotten into mentioned previously, got me thinking ; I'm a monster! My problem is that the age-old, tried and tested, "but I'm a student...." excuse will eventually run out. Yet, I'm certain that i could use this 'trump-card-excuse' for anything! There was a period at the start of the new-term when i used to roll into work, with heavy tinted aviators on, and there would be a bottle of chilled water and paracetamol ready on the table for me, THATS how predictable my hangovers were. Drunken nights and hungover days were my bread and butter. But again, "Its OK guys, I'm a student....We work hard, we party hard." I'm glad they bought it, as i know the library's good for only two things, sleeping off a hangover and facebook. If i could tell you the last time i spent free time in there revis......revisin......I cant say it! It disagrees with me that much!

Now, i know the term "monster" has had some bad press over the years, but lets get rid of the sinister connotations or stigma! It's much more of a compliment really. I ravage my way through whole crates of Budweiser's, destroy bottles of vodka (which i can only imagine are converted from used paint thinner from a now bankrupt company), and I'm generally always in the thick of the party. Much like a monster then, I leave only devastation and grief in my wake. The only things that i have to show for my efforts.

What I'm saying is that, yes we, the students, are a nuisance, yes we are a drain on society (at the minute) but one day we will be working in the industries that we all use everyday! Scary, i know! We will be the doctors, the lawyers, the teachers etc which we all can't do without. So let us have our fun and ruin ourselves on a daily basis....It's what we do best.

Don't hate the players, hate the game.

Ron.

So one day I'm on my computer doing my usual facebook routine and I get this friend request. I recognized him as a bartender that I had engaged in a drunken conversation with a couple of weeks or so prior. Hey, I'll be honest, as long as you're not some random, you're in my network and I have met you at least once, I will always accept a friend request. This time was no different.

About a week goes by and I find myself at the bar of my new facebook friend, although I was way too drunk to remember this fact at the time. It was an admittedly sloppy night, so when I woke up I had my usual delusions of being a rockstar the night before. I quickly received a phone call from a buddy of mine that dashed my grandiose ideas of how awesome I was last night.

"Dude, you spent the whole night making out with some chick at the bar."

Quick sidebar, I think one of the most embarrassing things a person can do while drunk is to make out at the bar like a raptor stuffing his face with his freshly killed prey. Even though each and every one of us has done it plenty of times, that makes it no less excusable. Public making out in any context is a sophomoric act that should be solely reserved for high school dances and kinky swingers parties. If you feel the need to kiss someone while at the bar, you need to find either a dark corner or a single bathroom with a lock on it.

But I digress. So my buddy and I shared a few laughs over the incident, I remarked how ugly the girl had to have been given my level of intoxication, and I figured the shame of last night's poor choices would be gone by nightfall. Then I received a facebook message later that day from my new facebook friend:

"hey- i think i saw you at the x lounge on thursday? if so, you should stop making out with girls in public. thank you."

Naturally, I just took this as the usual flak that a man takes when he makes poor choices like making out in public with some random chick. My embarrassment deepens a bit because I was reprimanded by an acquaintance, which only reinforces how shameful my behavior was. Then I get an instant message from the same guy later that night:

Bartender: You were sure giving out mixed messages at x lounge on saturday.

Me: Huh? What are you talking about?

Bartender: Well, you're gay and yet I saw you making out with a girl the other night.

Me: I'm not gay (notthattheresanythingwrongwiththat).

Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! I just saw your facebook page said you were interested in men so I just assumed...

My blood ran cold. Of course I immediately checked my page to confirm what I already knew at this point to be true. Someone had changed my facebook page to say "interested in men." I do a little research and realize that my facebook page had said I was gay for THREE MONTHS. At this point I was entering damage control. OMFG, how many people had I friended in the past three months? It had to have been at least 40-50 people. That's not even including all of those pokes to chicks that have probably gone completely misinterpreted. Then I realized that about a month prior I had gone on one of those "old classmates" facebooking sprees. Fuck.

No wonder that gay bartender kept hitting on me. No wonder I got ten friend requests from gay people in the area within a couple months. No wonder that hot, local newscaster asked me if I was gay at that bar a few weeks ago. No wonder all those girls I meet out aren't rushing me home to sleep with me. Because facebook told them I was gay.

I was pretty pissed off at first. Of course all my friends would know it was a joke, but there are a shit load of acquaintances that were getting the wrong idea. I change my page back to "interested in women," and begin to cool off. If I didn't notice for three months, then maybe no one else noticed either. This was the rationalization of a man trying to hold on to his last shred of dignity. While no one had messaged me about the sexuality preference while it was gay, as soon as I changed it back to straight the messages came pouring in. Here are some examples:

"Dude, don't be offended by this, and I don't care either way, but I saw you were interested in men and now you are interested in women. What's the deal?' - best friend from 10th grade

"You changed sides on us...shame on you!" - gay classmate from high school

"Sorry I thought you were gay, come into X Lounge and I'll buy you a drink!" - the bartender himself

I am not sure what irritated me more: the fact that one of my asshole friends pulled this prank off for so long or the fact that so many people were surprised when I was no longer listed as gay on facebook. It was literally a month or so before I had to stop explaining the sudden, perceived change in my sexuality to my facebook acquaintances.

To this day, I have yet to hunt down the culprit of this socially damaging facebook prank. It's actually been long enough now where I can laugh (and blog) about it, so I would love to know who was behind it and give them their proper credit. Well executed prank, asshole :)

Und zwar haut der eine dem anderen auf der Baustelle ein Brett von unten in die Eier - Autsch, das hat bestimmt so richtig weh getan!!

Hier geht es weiter zum Video "Von unten in die Eier - Autsch"

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