"Isn't that cute? An extra belly button"

Video: Don't Want No Short Dick Man - Gillete

¡Hahaha! Hoy si me reí viendo este video... tenía tanto tiempo de no escuchar la canción entera y se ajusta tanto a las historias que contó una de las amigas que se sienta a almorzar con nosotros bajo el aguacatal de la Marro.

Y bueno, su historia fue triste y era clasificación XXX.  Bueno, en realidad una pequeña parte de la historia era XS.

¡HAHAHA!

FELIZ FIN DE SEMANA PUEEEE...

To clarify, we do not know if it's kosher.  AND, it's missing ketchup!

Kudos to Kristen for passing it along first

This video is funny.  Although most of the women say size doesn't matter, I don't know some of their looks are questionable on that.

Don't know if you've noticed the misleading and downright laughable commercials FOR high-fructose corn syrup that have begun running (I've only seen them online) but I'm not going to embed them; you can watch here or here. I think about it every time I get a fountain Coke, which is very rare, but does happen on occasion. I read this note in comments at The Kitchn: "I cut HFCS out of my diet and, with no other changes at all, lost 10 pounds in one week. It's stayed off."

Okay, ten pounds in one week? Little hard to believe. Still, I am going to try this. It certainly won't hurt me.

That photo up there? Cornigula by Ojimbo, my brother-in-law.

Update: This is enlightening; I had no idea.

Durban, South Africa - Three men were shot dead and two others critically wounded in a Durban tavern following an argument over the size of male genitals, police said on Thursday.

1st response: Huh

2nd response: HUH

3rd response: WTF

Finally: Don't they realise that it isn't the size that counts but rather the motion of the ocean? It's useless if you don't know what to do with it... 

If you're interested in reading the rest - 3 die in brawl over penis size

I used to watch this video with embarrassment… Hucking my body around in such a sloppy manor, desperate to add some stank to my game, but now I look at this video and I become sad. This video was a compellation of my freshman and sophomore years of college, back when I actually had balls to try things. I was desperate to spend time in the air and was willing to try just about anything, and as you can see… failed quite miserably. Now when I ski, I don’t spend anytime in the air, I ski Bogus Basin, known for its lack of quality snow and I feel like it is the sole cause for my lack of mojo. The guys I ski with now are usually more than willing to take flight, however Bogus just doesn’t seem to accommodate.

Last season we built the first booter I have built since I left college. It was a pretty sad little speed bump, however Mac and Bill were charging it with the desperation I used to have… I had one solid effort (see pic attached to my first post) and pretty much shut it down after that. So this is my call out: Mac, Bill… it’s on your shoulders now. I’m not going to get a Bogus pass this year, as you both know, that mountain licks… I need to restore my passion, and that begins with some mad crunkin sessions in the backwoods Idaho gnar. I need you guys to lay it down so the demons are stirred up inside of me, I need you guys to spend some time in the air with me, and to get know her ways. We need to create crunk lists and do what it takes to fulfill them. It’s clear to me that I no longer have the individual drive to make this happen, it’s going to take you guys stompin sickness to clear the sand out of my Vijayjay . It’s a call to arms, you ready to journey to the mecca known as Stokelahoma?  

This makes me want to adopt.

(Via Jezebel)

Diamonds.

Big rocks. Big loose rocks.

Loose Diamonds. Bathtubs.

Bathtubs FULL of loose diamonds.

Someday, we're going to have bathtubs full of loose diamonds. That's how rich we're going to be. That's what we always said, at least. And sometimes I like to think that we will. What could be more fun than swimming in a bathtub full of loose diamonds.

Some might say "Gosh, wouldn't that hurt?" Some might agree with me and say "Gosh, wouldn't it be worth it? Do you know how fabulous I'd look, stripped down to my skin and covered in diamonds?" I'd glisten in the splendor of shimmering jewels.

You see there is not much of anything so fabulous as handfuls and handfuls of diamonds. And this is something any fabulous woman will understand. It's incredibly fun to peruse the glass cases at Tiffy's (as we called it) or at Cartier or at Harry Winston's store. It's a great pick-me-up after a long day to try on expensive baubles and dream of the days when they would be ours.

Almost anything can be better when equated to diamonds. Take for example, weight. Pre-babies, I weighed 95 lbs. 95 lbs equals approximately 215456.375 carats. Though the number is bigger than 95, it's quite more fun to say that I weighed equal to 215456.375 carats. Imagine the splendor of 215456.375 carats.

Diamonds are measured in carats. Imagine a five-carat diamond (you can choose the cut, any kind you like). Still imagining? It's pretty big, isn't it? And fabulous. 215456.375 carats is much, much more.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend, afterall.

I saw a father with his daughter in a store the other week ~ she must have been three or four. He told her she could pick out whatever candy she wanted. She insisted on the Ring Pop. He suggested maybe she'd want gummies or a chocolate bar. No suggestion he made would do; she wanted the Ring Pop. "No, the Ring Pop," she said. "Ring. Pop." He asked her again, "Are you sure that's the one you want?" "Yes," she said. I turned around and said to him, "Girls are always after the ring."

In our case, I think we always wanted more than just a ring. Any old ring wasn't going to do; it would have to be brilliant. And big. I mean, big. Obnoxious big. The kind of rock that makes heads turn and the bitchy girls from high school mad with jealousy. My mom tells me that the size of the ring doesn't matter. (I've also heard that penis size doesn't matter (not from my mom) ~ let me tell you: size matters. It matters.) I'll always believe, "The bigger the better."

And a whole bathtub full of big, loose diamonds? The best. :)

Someday we'll have our bathtub, Lady. Someday we'll shimmer again in our bathtub full of loose diamonds.

• They have no skirts of any kind anywhere in the plus size deartment, and
• Everything else has ugly patterns, are crop pants, or nothing in my size.

And that's another thing that gets me... the sizing of the clothes. The sizes I normally wear look way too small now. Where are these clothes being made now, China? Japan?

So much for WalMart's pledge of offering things only made in the USA (though they probably haven't been doing that for a long while now).

So now I have to go by how clothes look rather than by size? Nothing is a set size. It depends on who makes it, or where it's made. I could wear an 18 top made by one manufacturer, but an 18 top by someone else could be way too small.

I've known my whole life that I can't depend on size alone. On top, I have to find sizes that will fit me in the bust, even if it's too large everywhere else. On the bottom, I have to fit those curvy hips and the bodacious Italian backside, even if the waist, thighs and calves are too big.

Guess I will just have to either buy what is offered at WalMart or Target, splurge at Lane Bryant, or just keep wearing what I already have. I don't have the money to piss away on expensive clothes that actually fit me!

Though I would love to have a few skirts and dresses in muted colors and patterns to round out my wardrobe.

And WTF is with all those loud and obnoxious patterns anyway? I think they're ugly. Looks like something not even my mother would be caught dead in... in the 1960's. They're taking that "retro look" a little too far. Not every woman can pull those off. I know I can't.

For the love of the deity of your choice, I hope that the crop pant fad will end soon. Not every woman can pull that off either.

/end rant...

That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

Okay, one thing I should get you used to is the fact that I am not squeamish about medical "stuff." I've worked in the medical field for about seven years (and I want to keep going, and keep going a lot further), most of that in the emergency department; I've seen lots of things you probably wouldn't want to see. And I've discussed things as commonplace with my coworkers that most people probably wouldn't consider polite conversation because, when you've just had your hands on someone elses colon, listening to your coworkers talk about their bowel habits isn't anything out of the ordinary. Not really something I do though, for the record. Just sayin'.

Once in a while I come across something I find quite interesting and I have a feeling that, while I'm in school, I will be finding even more. I figure I have the perfect forum to share these things because, well, it isn't too often that I run across someone having a scientific and/or medical nerd-out on their blog :)

I saw this on The Today Show this morning and I thought it was so cool, science geek that I am. I suppose I kind of already knew about some of it (from the hospital, thank you very much!) but, well, considering I don't have the anatomy in question, I don't really pay attention.

So...size does matter. For example, did you know that the size of a mans... belly (ha ha! gotcha!) can affect the levels of testosterone? The bigger the belly, the lower the testosterone? Click on the link ladies (and guys.) It's an interesting article.

Anyway, she was happy to process my refund.  Did I need to update my address?

"Why yes," I said.  "We just moved to Montana."  I spelled out the street, gave her the zip code.  "Montana, that's M-T."

"Huh," she said.  "Montana.  I don't think I've ever talked with anyone from Montana before.  Where is Montana anyway?"

Silence from my end.  I wasn't sure if she was serious.

"Where is Montana?"  She asked again.  Shit.  Are you kidding me?

"Um, North," I said.  "It's pretty much north."

"It must be a small state," she said.  "I can't even think of where it would be on a map."

I wasn't going to say a thing, until...

"Is it a small state, then?"

"Well, no..."

"Really?"

"It's actually the fourth biggest state."

"Ohhhh..." she said, deflated. 

"But it has a small amount of people?" I said quickly.

"Oh, okay," she said, happy and intelligent once again. 

My refund should be here between 1 and 2 weeks.

I love this woman.

Celeste Lace Neck Top

Ingenue Camisole with Circle Detail

(Both those tops would look hideous on me but I like them anyway.)

Square Neck Dress with Embroidery (Only available in size 4 and 6, though -- are you kidding me?)

Okay, now I'm annoyed with your size-ist policies, Polite Society. No more linkage for you.

you know our opinion on the subject of this restaurant already so i will not extrapolate further,

however this sign is OC

(OC meaning outta control for all you losers).

subtle was obviously not what the fish fry was going for.